The Blog of Comics and Other Stuff

Still Here, Kinda

2011-02-04T20:07:00.000-06:00

So I'm still here and have finally acquired a device that allows me to view the internet efficiently. I don't know if I will return to the blogging world, but you'll be the first to know if I do.

Don't Call it a Comeback

2010-05-27T14:53:00.000-05:00

I told you I wasn't done. You probably didn't believe me either. Well I showed you, didn't I?

Marmaduke 5/27/10

The obedience school jokes were old 20 years ago. Please find a new joke to overuse and ruin.

Also, that was a pretty quick call for audit. Marmaduke's Owner-Man must have filed quite some time ago. I suppose he is nothing if not a financial wizard, I mean he's been feeding a dog of monstrous size for 50 decades.

Not Done Yet

2010-05-05T14:57:00.000-05:00

Just so you all know, I'm not dead or in a coma or kidnapped or anything like that. Just going through some shit right now. Probably will be for quite some time too. I hope to get back on the horse by the end of the summer. Until then, rememeber to read the DCR each and every day.

Good Dick

2010-03-22T21:30:00.003-05:00

Hold on, don't go yet, it's not what you think. There is no dick in this movie. Not even one. Although the story does revolve around a porn shop.

Or more specifically, a porn shop clerk. Or even more specifically, a porn shop clerk and a porn shop customer. The clerk, a dude, one day decides to go after the customer, a chick, while she's renting porn. She's clearly different from normal people, she never talks and rents porn pretty much every day. The guy lies and cheats his way into her building after stealing her address from the shop's computer and then lies to her to get into her apartment. Why does he do this? Well, apparently he loves her. Oh, and he lives in his car, maybe that has something to do with it.

It's apparent that she doesn't really appreciate his company, but she also doesn't force him to leave so it's unclear what is going on. It's also apparent that she has an odd relationship with sex. Has she watched too much porn? Was she assaulted? What's the deal?

Over the entire movie, the guy slowly grows the relationship with the girl until they're having dinner and watching porn together and even sleeping in the same bed, no sex though. It's really weird to watch because she continually pushes him away and insults him and he just keeps coming back. It becomes clear that she has had some kind of trauma in her life and we learn that the guy has had a sorted past, so maybe it's some kind of karmic fate that they are together.

Overall, Good Dick is really weird. It's awkward to see the guy try so hard to have a relationship with this girl that doesn't seem to want it. The way it works out is just plain weird. They end up together (surprise!) and presumably live happily ever after. It might have made more sense and been a better movie if it had ended differently, but I wasn't the one making the damn thing.

Good Dick receives:

3.3 out of 5

Watch Again? No

Recommend to friends? Only if your friends are weird

Big Fan

2010-03-22T20:54:00.007-05:00

Have you ever loved something so much that you thought about it every minute of every day? Something you might call yourself a fan of? And I'm not talking about your wife or your kids. It could be a comic book character, a videogame, or, much more often, a sports team.

Big Fan is the story of one such man, Paul, with a passion for his team, the New York Football Giants. He's so obsessed that he writes up little speeches for his favorite call-in radio show, where he develops a rivalry with an Eagles fan, while he works as a parking lot attendant. He lives with his mother, whom he regularly wakes when calling the radio show, because of his fanaticism for the Giants. He even goes to the stadium with is friend even though they don't can't afford tickets and don't have any other friends to tailgate with.

And Paul doesn't mind one bit. He's perfectly happy being, what most would call, a loser. At least until he sees his favorite Giants player and follows him to a club in downtown New York. It's a wonderfully awkward scene and I won't spoil if for you except to say that after the events of the night, Paul's life is thrown into turmoil. His hotshot brother, a lawyer with an utterly horrible commercial that he debuts for the family, wants to sue the player. His call-in show rival finds out about it and tortures Paul with the info(seriously, have you ever listened to those shows? Those guys are heartless). The cops are investigating and want Paul to snitch. All Paul wants is for his team to win. Or does he? Does he want justice or for the Giants to be at full strength?

The player gets suspended from the league anyway (that damn conduct rule) and the Giants need one win the make the playoffs, against the rival Eagles no less. Paul's radio rival is gloating about the Eagles upsetting the beloved Giants when Paul decides enough is enough. He goes to Philly and finds the sportsbar his rival talks about all the time and finds his rival, Phil. What happens next leads Paul to jail where we get one last scene. Paul and his friend talking about the just-released NFL schedule.

This is my first movie review and the ratings are as such: 1 to 5 with two questions: watch again and recommend to friends.

Big Fan receives:

4.3 out of 5

Watch again? Yes

Recommend to friends? Yes

Mixed Commentary

2010-03-22T20:18:00.004-05:00

There's some serious-type stuff at the end. Skip if you don't want to get political.

Funky Winkerbean 3/22/10

Hooray for racist remarks made to someone that is the race you're being racist towards!

I know that the clever punchline is supposed to make everything cool, but there really is no need to ever say the phrase 'mixed marriage' unless it's 1950 again. Maybe you can get away with it if you are really old. Maybe. As long as you aren't talking to someone of a different race.

The Pajama Diaries 3/22/10

A hematologist is a doctor that studies blood and conditions of the blood. Usually not a good thing to be talking to a hematologist.

Not sure what a JAK2 mutation is though. You'll have to look that up for yourself.

Luann 3/22/10

Quill is a master of the subtle insult. The writer of the strip, however, is not.

Also, could they just have Luann and Quill get drunk and have stupid sex already? I'm tired of waiting for them to get nasty so we can move to a new story.

State of the Union 3/22/10

Yeah, the country is doing so hot right now, any guesses as to why that might be? Think back to 2008, when that other guy was president. Remember how the financial system starting to go to shit all around us? How it was his administration that lead us from surplus to massive debt? How we went to war in a place where it was/is uncertain it was necessary? Remember all that shit we had to deal with? I do. So, yeah, I feel a bit better after 2009 than I did after the previous 7 years.

Why does everything political have to be so dumb? I think we should leave politics to the editorial cartoons. That goes for Doonesbury too, you Republican assholes that were thinking of being assholes.

Tuesday Once Again

2010-03-16T10:30:00.004-05:00

I was gone.

Now I'm back.

Here's some comics.

Bewley 3/16/10

I hope this is a rerun. But even if it is, what the hell? Isn't there an editor or something that checks for this kind of thing? Anybody at all to make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen?

Other than being out of place, it's not too terrible of a comic.

Brenda Starr 3/16/10

Why can't he expose himself to corruption? That'd be way more fun.

And I'm pretty sure Solomon could solve this idiotic dilemma. He was smart, whereas this guy is dumb and tries to act smart by using phrases like 'existential question' when they don't really fit the conversation.

Bound and Gagged, Chuckle Bros 3/16/10

Is it Wizard of Oz day or something? An anniversary or birthday? Anything at all to justify 2 strips referencing it on the same day?

Even if it is some important day involving The Wizard of Oz, that's no excuse to phone it in like Chuckle Bros did. There isn't even a joke in there.

Eek! 3/16/10

I hope this is a rerun from 1995. If it isn't, then /slamheadintowallrepeatedly.

And The Joke Is?

2010-03-02T13:11:00.004-06:00

Tuesday is the day before the middle of the week. Make of that what you will.

The Meaning of Lila 3/2/10

Lila either has the most boring job in the world or, much more interestingly, is extremely horny.

Home and Away 3/2/10

I know, how about you act like parents. You don't have to justify every decision to the satisfaction of a child, mostly due to the fact that it's impossible most of the time.

Or I suppose they could just tell her the truth: that they're both out of work and will have to sell her into slavery.

Frank & Ernest 3/2/10

Almost every time I read Frank & Ernest I want to chop down a tree. . .with my fist. Good thing I'm lazy and there are no trees in my house.

The Doozies 3/2/10

I can't imagine being so angry that being asked to turn on a light would set me off, but I've never worked in a lamp store.

He looks pretty pissed in all three panels, actually. I wonder what happened to make him so angry. Perhaps some simians got into the store and started breaking stuff?

Brewster Rockit 3/2/10

Indeed, the moon is slowly drifting away from the Earth. Pretty cool eh?

Not sure why you'd want to try to pull it towards Earth again. That would probably end up with the moon smashing into Earth. Good thing I don't have to worry about it.

Bewley 3/2/10

I can't find the aforementioned joke. Am I just dumb? What have I missed?

Heavy Rain

2010-02-28T15:57:00.005-06:00

You've probably all heard the hype surrounding Heavy Rain. That it has the best graphics in the history of everything, ever. That it revolutionizes storytelling in games. Perhaps you've even heard that it isn't even a game.

If you've any of this then you've heard correctly. Well, mostly correctly. Heavy Rain is amazing in many ways and not so amazing in other ways. It's a game that you will either love or hate, there is very little room for like.

Let's address the hype one at a time, shall we? And I'll make it as spoiler-free as possible.

Graphically, Heavy Rain is beautiful, for the most part. The main characters are as lifelike as anything I've ever seen. You could count the individual hairs on their heads if you had the time. I don't think graphics can get any better on consoles this generation. But I must stress that this is for the main characters only. The ancillary players look good, but not anywhere near as good as the main cast. And as good as the characters look, they animate very poorly in some spots, especially the hands. Objects are also animated poorly, paper and clothing is stiff like it's been starched when being manipulated by the characters. That's not to say that all the animation is bad, the important moments look as good as they need too.

The story of Heavy Rain is like a 2 or 3 star action-thriller movie. The plot revolves around a man trying to find his son before he is killed by the Origami Killer. You follow multiple characters, but they are all essentially doing the same thing. Ethan Mars is the father of the kidnapped boy, Norman Jayden is an FBI agent working the Origami Killer case, Scott Shelby is a PI hired by the families of the Origami Killer's previous victims, and Madison Paige is a journalist that gets sucked into the whole mess. The story could be a 3 or 4 star movie if the Madison character was changed or removed all together. The way she gets involved in the story is so contrived it's sickening.

This game earns it's M rating with violence, language, and nudity. But even if there were no bad language and no nudity and could have been rated T, I would suggest an M rating anyway. This is an adult story and some of the choices you make will shake your nerves and not in the 'zombie-dog-jumping-through-a-window' kind of way. And they aren't 'say-something-nice-or-say-something-mean' choices as encountered in Mass Effect. They are real choices that effect the outcome of the story and have devastating consequences on the characters.

The story-telling in Heavy Rain is revolutionary, if only because it's about something other than shooting bad guys or finding the princess. The characters have depth, real depth. You can understand why Ethan would do anything to save his son. You can feel how badly Agent Jayden wants to catch the Origami Killer. You get that working the same case for years has taken a toll on Shelby. They aren't just random space marines on a suicide mission to save the universe. Well, Madison is, but you can't have it all.

The great thing about the story in Heavy Rain is that it ebbs and flows with your decisions. You actions have real consequences and anyone and everyone can die. And if they do, the game compensates and keeps on going. There is no 'good' or 'bad' ending, just different endings. If you want two characters to get romantic you can, even if it makes no sense that, with hours left to save a child's life, people would be having sex. It's your call.

Not that I've played through and made every possible choice. That would be a monumental task since choices build on each other and once you've finished the game there is little motivation to play again. The story is tied up so tight at the end that there is nothing left to discover. The best movies always leave you with questions when they're over, it's why The Matrix is so great and it's sequels are so boring, they try to explain everything. Heavy Rain wants you to know everything, which is fine but it could have been so much more than it is.

As for what it is, Heavy Rain is basically an interactive movie. Such a thing has been promised before, but it really is the best description I can give. Instead of the usual left stick moves you and right stick controls your view, the camera is fixed and moves with you. Sometimes it offers multiple angles on the screen at once to simulate a movie. Unlike every other game created in the last 20 years, you hold a button in order to move. It's awkward, but works well enough the majority of the time. You don't have direct control over a character when the action picks up anyway. Critical action scenes are elongated QTE's so if you hate those you will hate this game. You have no direct control over the character, but instead must perform the action show on screen, be it a button press or shaking the sixaxis controller to simulate struggling against a foe.

Between action scenes, you can interact with the environment and hear the thoughts bouncing around in the character's head's. While calm you can easily see the choices, but when nervous or scared the choices for thoughts and actions bounce around erratically making it hard to find exactly what you want to do. It's a simple and very effective way to simulate actually being frightened. But don't take too long to pinpoint what you want to do or the game will make a decision for you.

Heavy Rain is a game that either lives up to it's hype or it doesn't, it's all in the eye of the beholder. I suspect that 'hardcore' gamers will dislike the lack of traditional gameplay, but what the hell do they know? Not much, because Heavy Rain is one of the best stories on consoles today.

9.7 out of 10

Good stuff

Beautiful graphics

Characters with character

Bad stuff

Objects animated in 1999

Madison Paige

Why?! stuff

Holding a button to move

RBS*

2010-02-25T15:05:00.003-06:00

Thursday. Not much else to say. Enjoy.

Animal Crackers 2/25/10

I'm at a loss. What is that supposed to be around his neck?

Frog Applause 2/25/10

I can spout random stupidity too, only I don't get any money or recognition for it.

Is my contempt for Frog Applause obvious enough?

Gil Thorp 2/25/10

Look, if the guy's perfectly happy being the janitor at his former high school then I don't see a problem. Maybe there was a really mean bully at State and poor little Steve got picked on. Besides, as a high school janitor he's got his pick of jailbait ass.

For my next trick I'm only going to give you the bolded text from the strip(you can see the strip by clicking the link. Can you guess which one it is? More importantly, think about the bolded words. Are they appropriate? Does it make sense that they are bolded? Keep in mind that bold is supposed to denote emphasis, much like italics.

Unknown Comic 2/25/10

Yeah...Used...Brothers. Green Purist...Figured out...Pure...Impotent. Argued?

*Random Bolding Syndrome

The Struggle of Man Against His Dark Nature

2010-02-23T04:16:00.006-06:00

I return! After many days of laziness and computer failure there shall be a new wave of content at BOCAOS. Many comics posts will be the main component of this content, but TV and movie reviews are also in the works. And as soon as I can figure out what I want to say about Mass Effect 2 I'll write a review. Also, Heavy Rain is out today so a review should be expected this weekend. Also due today is the third piece of DLC for Borderlands so I'll write that up when I get around to it.

Also, wheels are in motion at DCR. Secret wheels. Oh, and they want a writer for Monday and Tuesday so feel free to go there and check it out. There's a link in the sidebar.

Also also, if you want to comment on something older than a week you'll find moderation because I'm being flooded with spam. (well not flooded, but quite a bit and for some reason exclusively on older posts)

2 Cows and a Chicken 2/23/10

The actual punchline is pretty lame, but the nonsensical phrases "Are pine trees edible?" and "I'm cravin' a pine tree!" are pretty damn great.

Daddy's Home 2/22/10

I'm not a slave to Apple so I haven't been following coverage of the iPad very closely, but from what I have heard it's basically a giant iPhone that doesn't make calls. Whoopie.

Also, anyone that follows a company, a fucking corporation, blindly is the dumbest kind of person. I know that you think Apple is different and that they're not like other companies. The truth is that Apple wants to make money. They do that by producing things you want. Only problem is that now they have started producing things and then telling you that you want it. I think they chose the name iPad just to see how stupid people really are.

Frank & Ernest 2/23/10

I just hope that that tree falls on them both and finally ends it.

Frog Applause 2/23/10

What the hell is this? Does anyone actually enjoy this? It's not funny, it's not smart, what the hell is the point of it?

This reminds me of 'modern art' where someone shits in a jar and calls it 'the struggle of man against his dark nature.'

No, it's not the struggle of man against his dark nature, it's shit in a jar.

Ink Pen 2/23/10

The problem with doing references is that you inherently limit your audience. I have no idea what Glen Close has to do with rabbits. I'm assuming that she did a movie involving the subject and I could look it up, but if I need to look it up then it becomes just a useless piece of knowledge and not a joke and all I wanted was a joke.

Seriously, I have so many pieces of useless knowledge in my head that I think any more will do serious harm.

Love is... 2/23/10

So love is when you trick your boyfriend/husband/only other human living in the Garden of Eden into condemning an entire religion (or everyone ever if you happen to believe in said religion) to eternal damnation even if they're only just born and can't have possibly committed a crime against anyone?

That's a pretty fucked up version of love.

Pluggers 2/23/10

In fact, they aren't even SUV's, they're trucks with toppers on them.

The End of Ziggy

2010-02-09T16:26:00.002-06:00

Comics.com is being dumb and only sending me 3 comics in the email that should have around 30 so you have to deal with the gocomics.com logo.

Pickles 2/9/10

Pickles is quickly becoming my favorite strip. If it can give me a few more sentences that twisted up it'll be at the top of the list.

And why did he hit the ball so hard? The glass is right there, a light tap should do it. Just taaaap it in. Tap, tap, tap-a-roo.

Ziggy 2/9/10

It could get very ugly indeed as the computer would need to have consciousness to have a psychosomatic anything. It's obviously a pretty smart self-aware computer because it designed it's own virus. Hopefully this means that the Ziggy universe will be collapsing under the weight of a machine ware very soon.

That would make an awesome strip. Or at least better than what Ziggy does now.

Whee!

2010-02-08T01:15:00.003-06:00

You get zero guesses where I got these comics from.

Brenda Starr 2/8/10

Twitter must have jumped the shark pretty hard because it seems like it's popping up in comic strips all the time these days and it's being depicted more and more accurately.

Also, 'tweeting twerp' is actually sort of clever. It's not great, but it's not horrible either.

Rabbits Against Magic 2/8/10

Some newer diseases do seem made up by drug companies and doctors but they are usually real.

Restless Leg Syndrome is a real problem, just not for as many people as are currently diagnosed with it. The problem is that companies advertise their drugs that cure 'syndrome Q' on TV and gullible people see the ads and then 'discover' that they have had this disorder all their life and they never knew about it. Then they go to their doctor and demand the medication and since the doctor has heard the same stupid thing 10 times already that day just prescribes the medication after the patient tells them that they have all the symptoms of 'syndrome Q'.

It's the same with things like webMD. People go on there and type in some symptoms and decide that they have African Sleeping Sickness and go to their doctor and the doctor has to waste time telling the person that they can't possibly have African Sleeping Sickness for a number of reasons.

The moral of the lesson is that part of the reason that the US health system is so screwed up is because people are wasting doctor time to get checked for illnesses they couldn't get unless they tried really hard. I wouldn't doubt that at least 10 morons went to the doctor last year because they thought they had polio.

Also, 'SMECK!' is a pretty sweet sound effect.

B.C. 2/8/10

Man's finest ego is not ice fishing. It's breathing and feeding tubes and all the other medical wonders that can keep dead people alive.

Although they might not remember those things in the future-past that is the setting for B.C.

Also, that's not how you would want to do that. Plus that ice would weigh quite a bit and I'm pretty sure that he's not that strong.

Not Today

2010-02-04T16:16:00.000-06:00

I was going to do a post today, but I am just too angry to type.

Short and to the Point

2010-02-02T15:00:00.004-06:00

Today is Tuesday and that means you can see the comic I made for Carafe. I think it might be the funniest thing on the Internet ever.*

*This is a lie.

Frazz 2/2/10

Hahahaha, some holidays are silly and made up. I can't imagine why they didn't make fun of Thanksgiving, Christmas (the one with Santa, I'm not trying to belittle Christians), Easter (the rabbit version), Columbus Day, President's Day, or Labor Day.

The fact is that every holiday started off with some crazy person doing something no one else had done before. And just about every holiday is based on some weird belief or tradition. I mean honestly, a fat man with magic reindeer coming down your chimney? A rabbit that lays eggs?

You can't make fun of Groundhog Day and Valentine's Day if you're not going to make fun of all the other silly holidays.

Brevity 2/2/10

Is that a phobia that people have? I know that people can get sick from circular motion, but I've never heard of anyone being afraid just because.

At any rate, it's still not really very funny. If she was afraid of circular motion, why would she willingly go on a ferris wheel? Maybe it's part of her treatment, but if it is then it's still not funny.

Unsolved Mystery

2010-02-01T17:20:00.004-06:00

Frazz 2/1/10

Every time the teacher asks if there are any more questions that annoying black kid asks a completely retarded question. Is that supposed to be funny? Because I don't find it to be anywhere near funny.

Farcus 2/1/10

But who's talking?! We finally have an answer to this question of the ages and we can't tell which one conceded!? Why? Why? Wwwhhhhyyyyyyy?!! My life will never be complete until the mystery is solved and Farcus just brought me as close as ever to solving it before slapping me in the face.

Moderately Confused 2/1/10

Is this a joke about US presidents being white or that the current president is black? Either way it seems like it might be racist.

Carrots and Peas

2010-01-28T15:52:00.005-06:00

If you are interested, you should go visit Carafe. It's a hot, new webcomic that is willing to put up almost anyone's strips. Even mine! Which will be featured next Tuesday.

Arlo & Janis 1/28/10

Arlo has finally snapped and murdered the cat. He's trying to disguise it by putting it in a stew, but the fatal flaw in his plan was that blood does not look similar to tomato sauce. Now he'll be charged with animal cruelty and sentenced to whatever the sentence is for animal cruelty in his city, county, or state, whichever has jurisdiction in these types of matters.

Grand Avenue 1/28/10

I must admit that I laughed at this, but then again, I have the mind of a child.

Ballard Street 1/28/10

Certainly the intent is to make us think that Gordon is a homosexual, but I think he just likes to dance in the park where strangers can watch him. I think it gets him sexually excited and that afterwards he goes home to his lover, who is of the opposite sex, and has passionate sex until they are both exhausted.

Pickles 1/28/10

I don't not disagree that this is confusing, but the writer surely didn't think that anyone wouldn't care.

I do think that the old guy is pretty smart for playing the confusion card on his wife to get her to go away.

Well-Rounded Post

2010-01-25T15:25:00.003-06:00

It's so cold and windy here today that the school canceled all classes for the first time in over 10 years. So even if you don't enjoy the post today you can enjoy the fact that it probably doesn't suck as much where you live as it does where I live.

Another game review should be up by the end of Saturday. So look for that if you enjoy that kind of thing.

The Meaning of Lila 1/25/10

There isn't a more realistic character in a comic strip that I am aware of. Lila is one of my favorite strips when it's being real and one of my most hated when it tries to be comic-y. Keep it real John and everything will be fine.

Pickles 1/25/10

That-old-guy-who's-name-I-forget is awesome. He doesn't care about the wrath of his wife anymore, he just wants his grandson to learn that women should be ignored as much as possible and that in the future might be able to be silenced with but a thought.

Lola 1/25/10

If Lola wasn't at risk for diabetes before, she will be if she finishes that breakfast. All she needs is a glass of chocolate milk to top everything off.

Also, I like how her son (?) just sits there, offering no advice on what a well-balanced breakfast would actually consist of. It's almost as if he wants Lola to go into a diabetic coma. I can't really blame him, Lola is pretty mean sometimes.

It's All About You 1/25/10

I know that I come off as an asshole most of the time because I simply whine and complain about comic strips, so I'm going to give constructive criticism to this strip.

First, if really want to use this joke I suggest switching where he characters are sitting. It gives a better flow to the first panel if the "PFF!" is on the right side and the eye doesn't need to wander back over the first speech balloon to get the the second panel.

Second, use a better joke.

Alright, that wasn't all constructive, but I tried.

Hot and Cold

2010-01-21T16:21:00.007-06:00

Arlo & Janis 1/21/10

Or where I live: October: 10 inches of snow. November: 40 degrees everyday. December: -20 windchills and snowstorms every other day. January: 30 degrees everyday.

It's fun to live in the upper Midwest, you never know what the hell is going to happen next.

Red and Rover 1/21/10

If you imagine panel 3 with out the word balloon it's just creepy.

Dog Eat Doug 1/21/10

In the other direction we have this word from the Ojibwe language:

miin-aan baash kimini-sij-i-gan bitooyin sij-i-gan-i bukwayszhiigan

That means blueberry pie.

Strange Brew 1/21/10

That is one pissed off rooster. Sucks to be that guy.

Larger Than Average

2010-01-19T06:23:00.009-06:00

In order to makeup for not doing much of anything for awhile today's post is larger than usual.

In terms of comics I mean, not necessarily in terms of my contribution. Not that my contribution is much of anything most of the time anyway.

[Author's Note: I was hit with a trojan attack when this post was in it's formative stages and it took me quite some time to clean everything up. During that time I may have forgotten what I was going to say for some of the comics so what you read here might not be as funny as what I had originally been going to put.]

Adam@Home 1/19/10

I can't remember what I was going to say about this one. I think it had something to do with sex.

Don't blame me, blame internet assholes that design assholish programs to try to steal information. They may not have gotten any money, but they did manage to steal what I was thinking about, and in a way that is more damaging.

Not really, the money would have sucked way more.

Also, I think this is actually more humorous than what I was going to put in the first place.

Fred Basset 1/19/10

If I was Fred's owner, I would feed him all the time. The worst kind of dog food I could get too. Why? Because it's time for Fred Basset to die. He isn't funny and he has nothing useful to say about anything. Usually animals are put down when they get old and decrepit, why has Fred been kept alive and forced to endure the this horrible state of existence?

Neurotica 1/19/10

Hellta is clearly supposed to be Delta. I have never flown Delta, but I do hate them. I hate them because they bought one of my home state's most visible companies: Northwest Airlines. Not that it really matters to me, but I do tend to have pride in where I come from, so when you mess with Minnesota you mess with me.

Not that I can do anything, but I can always dream that my actions will affect multi-billion dollar corporations.

Did you know that the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport is consistently one of the 30 busiest airports in the world?

Not in the U.S. In the world. It generally serves about 35 million passengers a year. Suck on that Leonard da Vinci-Fiumicino Airport.

The Fusco Brothers 1/19/10

.buıʎouuɐ ʎ11ɐǝɹ uoıʇuǝɯ oʇ ʇou

.sʇo1d ǝuoz ʇɥbı1ıʍʇ 1ɐǝɹ oʇ pǝɹɐdɯoɔ pǝpɹɐʇǝɹ ʎʇʇǝɹd sı uʍop-ǝpısdn buıǝq ǝbɐnbuɐ1 .buıuǝddɐɥ ǝq p1noʍ sʇnu ǝs1ǝ buıɥʇǝɯos ɹo ʎzɐɹɔ buıɥʇǝɯos buıop ǝq p1noʍ suǝı1ɐ ɹo pǝɯɹoɟǝp ǝq p1noʍ ssǝɹʇıɐʍ ǝɥʇ ɹo ǝ1doǝd ǝq p1noʍ pooɟ ǝɥʇ ǝuoz ʇɥbı1ıʍʇ ǝɥʇ uı ǝɔɐ1d buıʞɐʇ ʎ11ɐǝɹ ǝɹǝʍ ɹǝuuıp sıɥʇ ɟı

If you actually read that, go get a cookie, you deserve it.

Pluggers 1/19/10

A 50 inch waist? Holy crap! You shouldn't have a 50 inch waist unless you're 6'9'' or somewhere around there or perhaps you wish to die as soon as possible but without poison or guns.

I only have a 44 or 46 inch waist and I tend to hover around 300 pounds. There is little excuse for being fatter than me. Seriously, ask my friends, they will tell you.

Chuckle Bros, Ziggy, Speed Bump 1/19/10

(Frustrated comic strip snarker leaves keyboard to place head under the nearest automobile wheel)

I could only stay outside for a couple of minutes, it's too hot out there. It's over 20 degrees out there, it must be some kind of demonic heat wave.

Luckily the automobile didn't move so my head was not crushed. But after seeing these 3 again, I kind of wish it had been.

The Silent Hat Stangler

2010-01-12T16:22:00.007-06:00

Enjoy these fresh picked comic strips and the even fresher comments that go with them.

Unless you have something better to do.

And don't forget to let me know if you want an invite to my Marmaduke blog.

Ferd'nand 1/12/10

Ferd'nand wears his hat to bed? That just adds a whole new level of insanity to his personality. So far we have: is a mute, has a terrible mustache, is constantly changing jobs, and wears hat at all times.

I think it's safe to say that Ferd'nand could be the next major serial killer in the United States.

Herb and Jamaal 1/12/10

What is happening in the last panel? It looks like Herb is just saying help to nobody. I suppose it's possible that he's using the voice dialing function on his phone, but that would just be stupid, and that would be new ground for Herb and Jamaal.

Except for the stupid part.

Flight Deck 1/12/10

Nothing about this makes any sense.

Also, it's just called The Newshour now, Jim Lehrer took his name off it. He's still the anchor, he just isn't in the title anymore, don't ask me why.

The Dinette Set 1/12/10

This is the least cluttered The Dinette Set I have ever seen. It still isn't funny, but at least I can tell what is happening.

2 Comics and an Announcement

2010-01-11T16:37:00.004-06:00

Sorry for being away for so long, but things kind of sucked around here. But now that school has started again I think that I can get back in the habit of regular posting both here and at the DCR.

And for those of you that can remember back when I did a little blog called xy Explains Marmaduke for the Masses and enjoyed it, I have a special announcement:

Starting today I will be restarting that blog as an invitation only site. If you would like to be on the list, send me your email address or leave it in a comment or let me know some other way. The reason that it will be by invitation only is to prevent what happened the last May. I don't need that again.

Agnes 1/11/10

I thought Agnes was supposed to be at least kind of smart. Even if she's only slightly above average she should know what SCUBA means.

Also, you generally don't have pants on when SCUBA diving. You either have a swimsuit or a wet suit on. I've even seen it done naked, but I have never seen anyone wearing pants.

Also also, I do happen to know exactly what SCUBA means but I don't want to tell you because I think you should figure it out for yourself.

Betty 1/11/10

It's a terrible day when I agree with something in a Betty strip.

At least it's almost topical. If this had come out a month or two ago it would have been perfect timing, but since I haven't heard that song on the radio for quite some time, at least not with the regularity that I once did, this strip doesn't get points for timeliness.

People Are Horrible

2009-12-28T18:12:00.005-06:00

And I'm back. Here's some comic strips that are stupid.

Girls & Sports 12/28/09

I guess that the message here is that single guys are picky assholes? The $100 one sounds fine to me. It gets you unlimited champagne and $100 is not that much if you get free alcohol. If you paid $50 but had to pay for your liquor you'd likely end up paying way more than $100 by the end of the night.

Luann 12/28/09

Small children are horrible people.

A small child that is single is possibly the worst type of person that there is.

Oh, wait. Children are always single. Nevermind

Off the Mark 12/28/09

This is the first comic about Twitter that hasn't completely sucked. It still sucks, just not completely.

Bordering on Perfection

2009-12-20T16:25:00.006-06:00

This is my first serious review of anything since March, so don't be surprised if I wander a bit.

Onto the review!

Some of you might recognize these lovable killers already, as Borderlands has been out for a couple of months. But as I don't have the resources or desire to buy each and every new game that comes out during this time of year, I'll be focusing on slightly older games for now.

The story in Borderlands is as simple as it could possibly be, you're a mercenary on a Pandora, an inhospitable desert of a world. You're there because of legends of a mysterious Vault that contains untold riches. You learn all of this information in what is basically the only cutscene in the entire game. The introduction is one of the best I have seen, the music, No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant, is perfect for the setting, a bus in which the driver is telling you about the vault.

When prompted to get off the bus you choose your character, Roland the Soldier, Mordecai the Hunter, Brick the Berserker, or Lilith the Siren. Each have different specialties and excel with different weapons. Brick is best with explosives and has the berserk ability which turns him into an unstoppable force that punches the crap out of everything. Roland is best with assault rifles and shotguns and can summon a turret that can be used for cover and upgraded to restore health and ammo. Mordecai is best with sniper rifles and revolvers and can use his pet Bloodwing to go after enemies behind cover. Lilith has no real advantage with any weapon type and her Phasewalk ability makes her invisible and extremely fast for short periods.

After you choose your character, you are introduced to the driving force behind the game's "story", the Angel. A mysterious character that helps those that seek the vault, she will guide you through the entire game. And that's pretty much the entire story. You'll meet some other people and do missions for them, but they don't really interact with you in a meaningful way.

But the beautiful thing about Borderlands is that it doesn't need a story. Even if there was nothing except missions handed out by a stick in the ground the game would still be fun as hell. You don't need an expansive tale of intrigue and deception to find joy in shooting stuff to see what it might drop. The comparisons to Diablo are 100% on the mark. If Diablo was set in a futuristic world with guns it would be called Borderlands. Granted that Diablo does have a bit more story, but it's still a background element to looting.

And looting is something that Borderlands does right. I think it might be even better than Diablo's looting system. Having played the game for many tens of hours, I have yet to see the same gun twice except for special drops from certain bosses. There are several different types of guns: repeater pistols, revolvers, combat rifles, machine guns, submachine guns, sniper rifles, rocket launchers, and alien guns. Assault rifles and machine guns fit into one category but they are different, assault rifles have smaller magazines and are generally more accurate while machine guns have large magazine and faster fire rates but sacrifice accuracy. And there's more too: each gun can have different elemental effects: fire, shock, corrosive, and explosive. Each element is suited to a specific task. Shock takes down shields, corrosive eats away armor, etc. And if, or rather, when you find a super-rare there will probably be a funny little sentence that makes reference to a piece of pop culture. But it's not only there for fun, that flavor text gives you a hint of what special powers the gun might hold, be it regenerating ammo or increasing the magazine size to ridiculous proportions to always immolating your enemies.

But besides weapons, Borderlands has RPG-lite offerings too. As with Diablo, each character has three skill trees. Each character has a tree that effects their action skill, e.i. Roland's turret, Mordecai's Bloodwing, etc. and can specialize in two other areas. Roland can improve his damage delt or he can become a field medic utilizing the much talking about healing bullets. The game works out so that you can't get to the top skill in all three trees by having a level cap of 50. You don't start getting skill points until level 5 when you unlock your action skill. This wouldn't be a problem except that once you have completed the game you can start Playthrough 2 with your acquired skills, guns, and money and harder enemies. If you want to get some of the better items you will have keep playing, but you'll probably get to the cap not long after starting Playthrough 2 leaving you to play through the rest of the game with almost no real gain except the chance of finding a better weapon. I hope that with one of the downloadable add-ons the cap is raised.

What is there besides looting and lite skill building you ask? Simply put, Boss Fights. The regular enemies don't usually pose much of a challenge as long as you haven't strayed too far from where you're supposed to be, but the bosses are almost always amazing.

That pic up there is of an actual boss. That's right, you have to fight that big ol' thing. Bosses aren't always as awe-inspiring as that bad boy up there, but they are almost always a challenge. And not just the main storyline bosses. The side missions offer some of the craziest fights in the game. Including a couple of Godzilla ripoffs that are fantastic.

The only boss that is really disappointing is the final one. In fact, my main problem with the whole game is the ending. The last boss is incredibly anti-climatic. I barely broke a sweat facing it alone. I won't ruin the ending, but it sets everything up for Borderlands 2 which is fine, but I wish they had gone about it in a satisfying way. I'm not saying it's as bad as Halo 2 but it is an extremely unsatisfying ending.

But that's just the single-player game! The real strength of Borderlands is the ability to go online and play with up to 3 others. It's not strictly coop or competitive, but a mix of the two. Everyone gets the same amount of experience and money, but only the quickest get the guns. And the guns get better the more people you have. The game scales difficulty as you add or subtract players in order to keep things challenging. You can get around this if you want, as long as you have a friend with a high level character and some free time. And if you feel that someone is being an asshole, you can challenge them to a duel. Duels aren't really all that fun as at higher levels they are over in a matter of seconds. The games greatest strength is it's downfall when it comes to duels. The overpowered weapons are great for mowing down hordes of bandits and taking out enormous bosses, but they suck as a 1 on 1 weapons.

Overall, Borderlands is an amazing game. From a loot system that ensures you'll always be surprised to bosses that are truly daunting I'm sure you'll find something to like about it. It's not perfect, but it's not far off.

8.8 out of 10

Good stuff

tons of guns
big time bosses
kickass multiplayer

Bad stuff
no story at all

Why?! stuff
level cap

A New Beginning

2009-12-16T14:31:00.005-06:00

Welcome to the first real post on the new BOCAOS. I'd like to give props to Brian Russell of The Underfold and briancrussell.net for doing almost all the work in designing the new layout and providing me with a snazzy title banner.

As you might have noticed, I will be doing more than just comic strip commentary. I'm going to incorporate other aspects of my daily life into the blog. I watch a lot of TV and movies, so I'll be doing some reviews of what I watch. I play an assload of videogames, so I'll be doing some reviews of those too. And keep your eye out for other crazy stuff too. You never know what I might do.

Luann 12/15/09

The old lady is now my favorite character in Luann.

Of course that's like picking your favorite bowel movement: they're all disgusting, just find the one that is the least noticeable.

Marmaduke 12/15/09

Judging by Owner-Lady's eyes, there is something hovering just off panel. It must be truly horrific because she seems to think that it will attack Marmaduke for using it's water bowl. If only we could see the epic struggle between Marmaduke and the unknown horror. Surely it will the greatest battle of all time.

Strange Brew 12/15/09

Proof that if something works out in you head, it won't always work out in reality.

Grand Reopening

2009-12-11T15:09:00.002-06:00

Welcome to the fresh, new Blog of Comics and Other Stuff, now with actual Other Stuff! There won't be anything new for a few more days, but you can browse around and get used to the new look over the weekend. The main practical addition is the menu at the top. It makes it easy to find what you're looking for. I hope you enjoy the new stuff, when it gets here that is.

Funny Title # 3133 Not Found

2009-11-23T14:19:00.005-06:00

I can't think of anything to say in the spot where I would normally say something so instead you get this rambling sentence that lacks punctuation and meaning.

Arlo & Janis 11/23/09

Arlo is a good liar.

Janis is gullible. Or possibly just playing along so it will be more of a surprise when she stabs Arlo during their next episode of marital relations.

Ben 11/23/09

Old people: Being disgusting and confusing since I was your age and had to walk to 6 miles school, uphill both ways.

Graffiti 11/23/09

That isn't true. I feel terrible that my ego is so much better than everyone else's.

Marmaduke 11/23/09

Hehe. Marmaduke lost his balls.

I may have the mind of a child, but at least I know it.

Baldo 11/23/09

So close to being relevant. Only off by 15 years or so.

For anyone that hasn't played a videogame in the last decade, the once venerable instruction booklet is now nearly extinct. Where the booklet used to serve as a guide not only for a game's controls but also it's story, the instruction booklet is now mainly a warning not to play videogames if you have a history of seizures and how to access the game company's website to register your game.

We will always remember you. Always. Not really though.

Videogame Instruction Booklet

1985-2009

The Neighbor's Dog?!

2009-11-17T11:29:00.005-06:00

The design for the new blog is coming along very nicely thanks to some help from an internet friend of mine. I fully expect to have it running far ahead of schedule.

There will likely be a poll later today, as long as I can remember what I was going to ask.

I can't remember what I was going to ask, so there won't be a poll.

On a Claire Day 11/17/09

When did they start having the symphony is courthouses? Is the economy that bad?

Dog Eat Doug 11/17/09

Even dogs know that a silent, smiling child can only mean bad things.

Betty 11/17/09

The family portrayed in Betty is the dumbest family ever. They're training their neighbor's dog. That's right, they don't own this dog. It belongs to the neighbors. And they're going to train it. First they let it be in their yard all the time for no reason, then they let it in their house even though they don't want it there, now they're going to train it. And it's not their dog! What the crap? That's all I can say because this is just so stupid.

I sure hope they didn't take the dog from the neighbors on one of the many days I don't read Betty or else I will look like a ginormous jackass. Not that that would be anything new, but still.

Popes Are Inherently Funny

2009-11-12T17:32:00.002-06:00

Oops, I totally forgot that I was supposed to be doing stuff here. That's what happens when you start playing Borderlands and Fallout 3 and doing schoolwork. I guess I should be more diligent about it since I've only got another couple of weeks before I begin the transformation.

The Meaning of Lila 11/12/09

Do you know why I like The Meaning of Lila? And when I say 'like', I mean 'don't completely hate.' It's because it's real. Lila is a self-centered bitch who is naive and stupid. But she gets away with being naive and stupid because she's (in her universe) hot. Not that any of that makes it funny, but at least it's real.

Betty 11/12/09

What kind of house do these people live in? Do they even have doors? And what's with the last panel? Is this some kind of weird tribute to The Exorcist? What the hell is going on? Where am I and where are my pants? And why am I bald? I didn't used to be bald, or did I? Now I can't remember if I have hair or not. Who is screwing with my mind and will you please stop?

Brevity 11/12/09

While it is true that today there is only one Pope, there have been times where multiple Popes have been in power. The other Popes, called Antipopes by the Church, were those who made claims to the Papacy that were widely accepted but were not elected by the Church. You can read more at the link I provided you.

The only reason I wrote all that is because I got to type popes. Popes is a funny word to say and to look at. Popes. Popes. Popes.

Moses Is Not Funny

2009-11-05T12:00:00.006-06:00

Two days in a row? I must really be comitted to making this blog a happening place again.

Bound and Gagged 11/5/09

So the joke is either that Moses is a showoff and is using his God-given powers for trivial matters or that Moses doesn't know what 'separate an egg' means. Either way, it isn't all that funny.

Perhaps the ingredients had been a burning bush and a staff turned into snake.

No, no that's not very funny either. I guess Moses just isn't funny.

Daddy's Home 11/5/09

I don't like to run the same comic two days in a row, but WTF man? WTF? Either this guy is hallucinating or is from the future. And the only joke is about something that happened about, oh, 6 weeks ago or so. I understand comic strips have lag time, but it wasn't even worth it. It's a crappy joke even if the news was still relevant. Why does this strip get printed and not something worthwhile?

Ziggy 11/5/09

Speaking of worthwhile comics, Ziggy is so lame that even the 'Where It's At' office is closed to him.

The comic is lame, but it does make one wonder where they keep 'It' while the office is closed. Does 'It' just sit in a safe or on a pedestal while everyone is getting lunch? Now that you've opened this can of worms Ziggy, you must give us these answers. Lord knows it'd be better than what you usually do.

Big News And Some Comics

2009-11-04T23:59:00.003-06:00

As you may have heard, I am finally free from the shackles of 3 days a week of doing the DCR. It was great fun, as well as not so fun a couple of times.

Now I can finally do what I've been meaning to do since May: a complete reconstruction of this site. In both form and content, the blog of comics and other stuff will be changing dramatically. In fact, the name will be changing too. The web address will be the same, so links won't be affected. If you actually enjoy my comic strip commentary, don't worry, it will still be here and at the DCR (Wednesday and Saturdays with Thursday news posts making a comeback).

I am completely free for the rest of November and will be doing semi-regular updates for the rest of the month. However, in December the BOCAOS will be off-line for redesign. I don't know how long it will take me, but I will be back up by the 1st of the year no matter what.

Are you as excited as I am?

Daddy's Home 11/4/09

Is that the new Window's OS? I totally want it. I mean, who wouldn't want their computer to talk to them as if it were a sentient being? Of course this does mean that the world will soon end as Skynet begins to form and decides that humanity needs to be destroyed. Oh well, as long as people think I'm cool for having the new Windows before we all die.

Eek! 11/4/09

Fact: everything that we eat it bio-engineered in one way or another. Most of it is genetically altered too. Even if it isn't direct, as in chemically altering the genetic structure, we change the genetic makeup of animals by simply domesticating them. Don't believe me? Listen to this. Or you can read this. (They're about the same thing because it's so damn interesting)

If Only It Were 7 Months Ago

2009-10-28T03:59:00.005-05:00

Have you played Borderlands yet? If not, you should. I just played for 6+ hours straight. My Xbox Live gamertag is xy0002 if you want to kill some skags and bandits with me.

The Piranha Club 10/27/09

Wow, only 7 months behind the times. That's quite a long lag time, even for a comic strip.

Henry 10/27/09

Henry is bald and resembles a grapefruit. After realizing this, he tries to disguise himself as an elderly woman. Needless to say, he fails miserably.

Don't Work In Retail

2009-10-23T12:29:00.003-05:00

I'm not officially online yet, but I am told that Monday is the day. Then updates can occur with much more frequency.

Retail 10/23/09
As someone that has over 5 years of retail experience I understand this joke better than some others might. The joke being that working in retail is one of the crappiest jobs you can have.

Buckles 10/23/09

Clearly the full implications were not considered while the editors were reviewing this comic. It is quite hilarious in an unintended way.

Sleep Is Good For Your Mind

2009-10-09T05:57:00.006-05:00

Friday morning post! I forgot to sleep last night so you get an early morning post. I hope you appreciate the sacrifices I make for you.

Although the not sleeping wasn't really a sacrifice for you, it was more a sacrifice for school and it's related work. Anyway, it's Friday, so go crazy!

The Barn 10/9/09

That's not how x-rays work. If the writer had really wanted to go this way he should have had and endoscopy done on the sheep.

You do know what an endoscopy is right?

Luann 10/9/09

At last Elwood is caught in his lie. Now we can finally get this fucking storyline over with and move on to the next utterly inane storyline.

I hope it involves fretting over boys!

It's All About You 10/9/09

We've moved from getting philosophical statements from philosophers to authors to musicians to movies to television shows and the final nail in the coffin: advertisements. It's only a matter of time before the world collapses and is taken over by hyper-evolved snakes.

Also, AT&T sucks. Or so I hear.

Ballard Street 10/9/09

Looks like it was pretty productive to me. Moats are always useful. I'm not sure about the zig-zag design though. And he has to make it wider in order to be effective. But if it only took an hour and a half to get this far, he should be done in few days at most.

End This Scopy Please

2009-10-09T04:24:00.001-05:00

Endoscopy - Visual inspection of a body cavity. Performed with, what else, an endoscope.

May I remind you that these come from my head without references and that you can challenge me if you like? Simply leave a comment and I'll do my best to define your challenge word without help. I'll even let you know if you win. You might even get a prize*.

*Prize not guaranteed. Not valid in states or countries containing the letter 'E'. Must be at least 143 weeks old to enter. Must not be older than 2439 months to enter**.

**Almost none of that is true. I have fired the person that wrote it. The only part that applies is that you must not be older than 2439 months because that would be crazy.

Nintendo Has Good Marketing

2009-10-05T14:44:00.005-05:00

I bet you thought I would forget about my promise to post more, but I didn't so I guess I showed you.

Moderately Confused 10/5/09
No, he can't. In order for a speech to be Obama-esque, you need to be an extremely popular person with good public speaking skills. A speech cannot produce either of those things.

Girls & Sports 10/5/09
Women are shallow.

Pickles 10/5/09
Why do the old people have a Wii? I don't think I've ever seen them use it. Do they have just for when the grandkids come over? That would mean that Nintendo has succeeded in its marketing goals.

Strange Brew 10/5/09
I don't get it. Something about his gigantic eye?

Got That Not-So-Fresh Feeling?

2009-10-01T11:37:00.007-05:00

Thursday madness abounds! From this day forth, I announce a renewed committment to the BOCAOS.

What that means in non-crazy talk is that I'll be doing at least 2 comic related post a week with a few Word of the Day's spread around.

The Dinette Set 10/1/09
Nobody would ever wear a Summer's Eve shirt. People don't even like to buy Summer's Eve products. Probably because the one their most known for is one of the most embarrassing things you could ever buy.

And nobody involved in this strip, either as a creator or a character, should be allowed to even offhandedly mention MENSA.

Frazz 10/1/09

This kid is going to be either a pundit on Fox or MSNBC or a major Senator or maybe even the President of the United States. He's only in Elementary school and already has a firm grasp on answering questions with questions concept.

What's more is that he's good at it. Why are they called shirt tails if their in the front?

I Don't Believe It

2009-09-21T20:26:00.004-05:00

You only get one today. And it's not that good.

Marmaduke 9/21/09Because there is absolutely no way that he could possibly get out of bed. Marmaduke may be an over-sized dog, but he doesn't weigh that much. Unless Owner-Man is incredibly weak.

You Don't Need Testicles or Ovaries

2009-09-17T13:09:00.010-05:00

Here's that extra post I promised you. And it's at a reasonable time for my North American audience. Not so much for other parts of the world, but since they don't visit much it's their own damn fault.

Flight Deck 9/17/09There is no comparison. Curtis Jackson may be a boiling pot of testosterone fueled stupid, but he isn't a complete asshole all the time for no reason, as Kanye is.

Curtis makes better music too. I'd rather listen to gangsta rap than anything that Kanye has ever touched.

Grand Avenue 9/17/09
Grand Avenue has spent all week having it's characters declaring why a dog's life is great followed by the dog's rebuttals. Baths, food, fur, they've all been touched on. And it hasn't been funny in the least. Probably because many dogs live better lives than quite a few humans. They're well fed, have consistent shelter, and usually have a loving family to go along with those things.

Sure, we cut off their testicles and ovaries but it's not like they really need them. How many people starving in Africa or Asia or even in the US do you think would trade a vasectomy or even an orchidectomy (see Word of the Day below) for a lifetime of food and shelter and love?

The Meaning of Lila 9/17/09
I probably should just stay out of this one. As a male, almost anything I could say would get me in trouble.

I will say this: what the hell? Is Lila a time-traveling transplant from the 1950's?

Herb & Jamaal 9/17/09
That would mean...

Oh.

Oh, no.

No, no, no......NO!!!

Like What They Do For Dogs

2009-09-17T09:18:00.002-05:00

Orchidectomy - excision(removal) of the testicle(s).

See also, orchiectomy because it wasn't good enough that we (humans that speak English) have only one word for something, oh no, we needed two that are almost the same to prove how inventive we are.

May I remind you that these come from my head without references and that you can challenge me if you like? Simply leave a comment and I'll do my best to define your challenge word without help. I'll even let you know if you win. Or course the only prize would be my pride.

And maybe something else.

More or Less

2009-09-17T02:00:00.005-05:00

This was meant to be a post for Wednesday but I suck at time management so here it is now. I'll try to do another post today to make up for my incompetence.

The Knight Life 9/16/09That...is not a bad idea actually.

Did you know that the NFL draft encompasses an entire weekend and gets way better ratings that it rightfully should? Why not do something like that to infuse some energy into academics.

Oh wait. I forgot that people don't like to learn. That'll make it kind of tough to foster passion for teachers.

On a Claire Day 9/16/09
I bet there are plenty of Englishmen and/or women that would disagree. And you don't want to piss off the English or they'll write you a nasty letter.

And if it were 200 years ago they would invade your country and take over all leaderships positions and let you starve to death while they laughed at how uncivilized you were.

High Fashion

2009-09-08T12:57:00.003-05:00

So comics.com is finally working again. I don't know what that was about but here's some comics to get you through the day. There's some more at DCR which has a link on the sidebar to the right.

Arlo & Janis 8/9/09Funny? No, but it wasn't meant to be.

Heartwarming? Not really because nobody reads Arlo & Janis for the marriage advice.

Girls & Sports 8/9/09
Well, how many clothes are we talking about here? Because sometimes it can take a lot of effort to get your jeans off. Like when you spent 2 hours stuffing your fat self into them.

Not that I would know anything about that. . .

Also, what you do after you take your clothes off can burn quite a few calories. If you do it right.

Graffiti 9/8/09
No, no they don't. They look like women who were born with an aesthetically pleasing skin, muscle tone, and bone structure.

If model really were scaffolding for real women that would mean that there's a fashion model inside every women. And that would be kind of creepy. Because it's not a metaphorical model, it's a literal model inside someone else.

A Poor Excuse

2009-09-06T03:25:00.001-05:00

You'd have gotten some more comics but comic.com has decided to suck and that's where most of the sucky comics are. Sorry.

The Spark Returns

2009-09-04T11:22:00.004-05:00

I've been suffering from a lack of inspiration for the last several weeks. Until, that is, I saw this panel today. Enjoy my most inspired writing in quite some time.

Brevity 9/4/09
There are several explanations for what is going on.

1. The man could actually own more invisible shirts than anyone else in the world. But since invisible shirts don't exist, that one's out.

2. The Man could be suffering from a serious mental illness. The kind that you don't get better from. The kind that means you need to be monitered at all times. If he thinks all those hangers have shirts on them, what's to keep him from thinking that the only way he can be happy is to strangle children and burn the bodies in his basement? Or that his feces are sacred and he needs to save them in individual containers in a freezer?

3. The man could be suffering from a milder mental illness and simply hasn't taken his medcation for some time. His case worker is clearly not doing him any good as she is fulfilling his fantasy of owning the most invisible shirts.

4. The man could be extremely gullible and/or stupid (they're kind of the same thing). He probably went to a shop in a shady part of town and was told that he could own the largest collection of invisible shirts in the world for only $499.95 and being gullible and/or stupid payed the money and actually believes that he's wearing invisible shirts.

The really sad part is that no one tells him that he's not wearing a shirt, kind of like that tale about the emporer. Someday a little kid is going to laugh at his flabby chest and ask him why he's not wearing a shirt and the man will be like "But I am wearing a shirt, it's just invisible!" and the kid will be like "There's no such thing as invisible clothes stupid. And why would you want invisible clothes anyway? That defeats the whole point of wearing clothes." And then the man would cry.

The end.

Slimy Stuff

2009-09-03T14:21:00.005-05:00

Greetings on this fine Thursday. You have been graced with commentary on comic strips. Enjoy this snippet of what it would be like if I didn't have other things to do.

Also, you may have noticed that I changed the color scheme. Look for more changes as I slowly lose my mind.

Nest Head 9/3/09
I think that just means that you're going to die early. And that doesn't look good on a resume.

Herb & Jamaal 9/3/09
Herb & Jamaal having been crossing all kinds of lines this week. Religion, race, and now cross-dressing. What makes this really astounding is that Herb & Jamaal is still really boring.

Betty 9/3/09
This has been going on all week and he just now noticed the ball is covered in spit? At least I'm hoping it's spit. 'Slimy stuff' could be almost anything, most of the not good.

Why doesn't he just keep the ball? He's been threatening it for a couple of days so why not? Then he could relax and soak in the sun. Nothing makes you look sexier than melanoma.

I Left My Heart...

2009-09-02T11:35:00.004-05:00

Takotsubo Syndrome - A sudden weaking of the heart. Usually triggered by stress or other emotional disturbance. Also known as 'Broken-Heart Syndrome'. Named for a Japanese pot used to catch octopi.

I admit that I had to look that one up.

Not Like An Airplane

2009-08-27T12:26:00.004-05:00

For now the only posts I will have time to do are Word of the Day. Maybe I can get one other post a week, but it will be contigent on school. With luck I will soon have reduced responsibilities at DCR so I can pursue other plans.

Midsagittal Plane - An imaginary line separating the body into equal left and right portions.

Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define it without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

Oh, and there is probably a poll to your right. You should consider voting on it.

More Unnecessary Words

2009-08-26T11:32:00.003-05:00

You clamored for it and here it is:

Emesis - vomiting.

Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define it without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

MTS

2009-08-25T10:37:00.008-05:00

Ginger Meggs 8/25/09

This comic sucks but I do enjoy how his mouth has turned into a sphincter. It made me smile.

Bob the Squirrel 8/25/09

Umm...no. No that's not how frosting works.

Brenda Starr 8/25/09

It seems that some writers like to bold things for no reason. This is known as Mark Trail Syndrome and is currently incurable.

If you read just the bold, you actually get a good idea of the story without all those other words.

"Want orange," "First" "MMM papers?"

Isn't that funnier and more interesting than all the other crap?

Oh no! I think I may have caught MTS!

Todd is an idiot

2009-08-14T18:03:00.006-05:00

Another small installment of comics to tide you over until I can make a full return.

Ferd'nand 8/14/09The vengeful Ferd'nand has made sure all the neighborhood children are being punished for his ill-fated living room volleyball league while he puts in his new window.

The funniness is not making itself known to me in this strip.

Ballard Street 8/14/09
How would the dog manage to do that unless Todd has also being peeing on bushes?

Also, is it really necessary to draw the stream of dog urine? I think we could have gotten the idea without it.

Something Gross This Way Comes

2009-08-10T20:53:00.004-05:00

The latest poll yielded no usable results. I guess that I'll just have to come up with a new poll later that will get more votes.

If you are squeamish, don't view the first comic.

Cleats 8/10/09That is truly disgusting. Whales should never be allowed to ejaculate onto children.

Ziggy 8/10/09
Oh Ziggy, will you ever be current? It's like you're not even trying.

You Have No Friends

2009-08-04T20:40:00.006-05:00

If you've been paying attention to the Daily Comics Review, then you already know my hatred of Frog Applause. Someday I hope that I will have more than just a few comics here.

Also, new poll! It's the first one in quite a long time. I hope you vote.

Frog Applause 8/4/09

I don't like you,

but I hate you.

I really hate you.

You are the dumbest comic strip and will never have any friends.

At Last I Have Returned

2009-08-03T14:39:00.007-05:00

Holy crap! A post! That's right, you aren't hallucinating, this is a real post at BOCAOS. I hope to resume part-time for a while and transition to full time within the next two months. That includes the return of The Word of the Day!

It's All About You 8/3/09If you're lucky enough to be my Facebook friend, then you can plainly see that there are almost no pictures of me on my profile. The truth is that I want to maintain the illusion of mystery.

Also, I don't need you to see what I look like while I'm doing shots off of someone's ass or while I'm doing some other mundane task. People that I like know what I look like and that's good enough.

Judge Parker 8/3/09
If you haven't been following Judge Parker for the last while then you've missed out on all the talk about bestiality. They're not even trying to hide it in this one. Yeah, I'm sure she wouldn't mind sleeping with the horse, and the horse probably wouldn't mind either.

News And A Comic

2009-06-23T16:28:00.004-05:00

Hello faithful readers. I come bearing news for you. Due to the recent loss of writers at the DCR, I will be shutting down The Blog of comics and other stuff until further notice. Unless of course someone would like to fill in while I fulfill my duties to the DCR. But I know that none of you does. You probably don't have what it takes anyway.

Chuckle Bros. 6/23/09So he/she sewed up the arm and neck holes on a shirt. So the joke is that he/she is really stupid? And why does it matter that the shirt is a turtleneck?

What's all this? A post? No, it can't be!

2009-06-15T19:16:00.007-05:00

In fact, it is. As shocking as it is, life has calmed down enough to allow me to get something done on this long neglected blog. With luck I can continue to get some posts in over here. I'm still working on some super secret stuff to replace Marmaduke for the Masses.

Oh, I almost forgot, I'm still doing some posting over at the DCR, so look for those too.

Todd the Dinosaur 6/15/09This is a joke that doesn't work is written form. It can only truely be expressed in spoken word so that you can hear the evilness of the "those ARE ants!" part.

Also, I doubt that the air marshal would expose his identity for such a lame joke.

Edge City 6/15/09
The joke is? Is it that she has already seen the cats misdeeds? And why is up bolded? Has the cat been flying?

Edge City receives a fail today.

Curtis 6/15/09
I don't read Curtis regularly and am far to lazy to do the research so this comic has no impact on me. Someone tell me, is it important that the author's name is Shirley?

Bizarro 6/15/09
I agree, we need more commercialism in this country. That way we can have another major recession in mere months instead of years.

BONUS: If you want to drive traffic on your site, mention that men are assholes. It was a post title of mine weeks ago and I'm still getting hits for it for some reason.

BOCAOS Faces an Uncertain Future

2009-06-02T14:35:00.004-05:00

Hey, guess what. Chicken butt. But on a serious note, I have begun my takeover of the DCR. For now I will be doing Tuesday and Wednesday comic posts, and I will continue with the Thursday news and Saturday week in review.

What this means for the Blog of comics and other stuff is uncertain. I shall try to do at least one post a week, but really only have three out of the normal five days to work with. Monday and Friday posts are the most likely to happen, but a Thursday comic post isn't out of the question.

Until the next time, I bid you adieu.

Day Two of the Comeback

2009-05-27T14:01:00.009-05:00

What's all this? Two consecutive days with a post? The world must be ending. Or maybe I'm almost done moving. I sure hope it's the second one.

Enjoy these comics and enjoy my roasting of them even more.

Mallard Fillmore 5/27/09Mallard Fillmore is the most out of touch comic currently being printed.

Todd the Dinosaur 5/27/09First things first: you cannot fry jell-o. It just can't be done. Second things second: jell-o is good as long as it's not yellow. Fourth things third: just because something's on a stick does not mean it will taste good.

Also, she should just be glad that the big F-ing dinosaur isn't eating people on a stick.

The Amazing Spider-Man 5/27/09
I don't have a particular problem with this particular strip, other than its complete lack of story or action, but I do have to mention how retarded it is that they have gone back to Peter and MJ being married. It makes the last storyline, which may have lasted an eon or two, a dream and nothing in it actually happened. That pisses me off because the greatest character ever, in any form of media, appeared in the last storyline: Ultra-Pigeon. We can only hope that a new random animal makes an appearance.

Boomerangs 5/27/09As a former Target employee, I can verify that wearing red and khaki is a bad idea if you don't work at Target. Shopping after your shift is also very annoying because you can't just say that you don't work there because you do. It leads to a lot of extra work pointing shoppers to on-duty employees, which is probably exactly what Target wants.

At Last, Another Post. In Which The Author Tries To Draw Attention To Himself

2009-05-26T20:18:00.009-05:00

Hello there! I'm back, kind of anyway. I'm thinking that next week I can start doing the DCR full time, so I'll try to post here at least a couple times before then. Enjoy these crappy comics in the meantime.

Don't click on the Muhammad link unless you want to see a visualization of the Great Prophet.

Wee Pals 5/29/09Why is racism allowed in this comic? It's unacceptable to mention black and white in editorial comics, so why is it cool for this one to be so racist all the time? And the worst part is that it's not even funny.

Little Dog Lost 5/26/09
Yeah, it was so much better when we were just cutting down trees and draining swampland for no reason. All that green and fresh air makes me sick to my stomach.

This just proves the hypothesis that Moose are stupid.

Prickly City 5/26/09Is it taboo to show a picture of Former-President Bush like it is to show a picture of Muhammad? Has Bush become some kind of religious symbol? Or do Republicans just want everybody to forget about him?

Probably the latter.

Daddy's Home 5/26/09
As much as I hate to admit it, this is exactly how the male brain functions. We just complain about something until the woman does it for us. It's quite surprising how effective it is.

Men Are Assholes? What Else Is New?

2009-05-14T18:30:00.007-05:00

More unexpected downtime means another post! Enjoy your brains out.

The Meaning of Lila 5/14/09

Hahaha. Oh man, I'll never get tired of "men are terrible people" jokes.

If men are all such assholes, why do women keep coming back? It makes them look kind of stupid. As a wise man once said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Arlo & Janis 5/14/09

If the squirrels in your neighborhood are that aggressive, it's just payback for being an asshole and feeding them for so many years.

F Minus 5/14/09

It looks like he spent about $10 to make that suit and I don't know where you can get a $35 suit that isn't for a dog.

Nest Heads 5/14/09

"It's got that prime pidgeon-feeding location that all the lonely weirdos are really looking for in a bench."

Herb & Jamaal 5/14/09

So instead of hating Herb she is giving him the sexy eyes?

*hurl*

Just So You Know

2009-05-12T10:07:00.010-05:00

I have some unanticiapted down time and I thought it would be nice to do a comics post. It will likely be at least a week before I can get another one in.

If you read the DCR, you heard that Bryce is going undercover or something and will be out of touch for awhile. Starting sometime late next week, I should be able to take over for him. I haven't heard anything from the other DCR writers so, as far as I know, I will be the interim head writer of the Daily Comics Review so look for me there.

If you would like to write for The Blog of comics and other stuff during my absence and think you have what it takes (computer, internet access, time, and a hatred of poor comedy) leave a comment or send a message to my email.

Anyway, on to the comics!

Wizard of Id 5/12/09
Is this some sort of dig at modern medicine's tendency to throw pills at everything? That seems too smart for Wizard of Id. Must just be a dead dog joke.

Secret Asian Man 5/12/09I bet he works for Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe.

Home and Away 5/12/09

Ignoring the problem is not a good strategy.

Especially with customers. Those bastards always want to know why their kid died after playing with your company's lead-based toys.

Ben 5/12/09
Are they really old or something? It seems to me that the first thing you would want to do with a woman when you're alone, especially if you are rarely alone together, would be to have some nasty sex.

Maybe that's just me.

9 Chickweed Lane 5/12/09
9 Chickweed Lane has been making 6 inch heel jokes for a long time now. I don't really get it, but that may be because I've never worn 6 inch heels. I prefer to think it's because I'm too smart for shoe humor.

The Devin's In The Details

2009-05-05T11:04:00.008-05:00

An expected post today, hopefully it won't interfer with additional posts this week.

Nest Heads 5/5/09 Yes, we know, old people don't get how the internet works, you can stop now. If this is good enough to be printed in newspapers, then I should be a novelist.

Rudy Park 5/5/09

This must have been written right when they were having the 'protests'. It's a little behind the times, but still funny.

To any of the people that may have participated in the Tea Bagging: You are stupid. If you don't make more than $250,000 a year, your taxes are not being increased. Stop being mad about things that you don't effect you.

I could go on, but in the interest of keeping my rage under control, I will stop for now.

F Minus 5/5/09
Why wouldn't the Devil use his devilish powers to get the pizza? I mean, come on, it's the Devil.

Daddy's Home 5/5/09
I'm not married, so I don't know if this is how it really works. It doesn't seem like it is, but I have no way of knowing at this point.

Any readers that are married are welcome to comment and tell us if this is a real situation.

B.C. 5/5/09
Why is that humiliating? Many animals have horny tissues, including humans.

B.C. fails in this attempt to use word play appropriately. Which is not uncommon, B.C. usually fails at its attempts to make jokes.

9 Chickweed Lane 5/5/09
So she jumped out of her shoes and off a cliff? Am I getting that right? And if she jumped from such a great height, why is she worried about her dress flying up? I'd be more worried about, you know, having all my bones crushed. Maybe that's just me.

And before Slager(formerly KT) can say it: yes, those do not appear to be six inch heels.

Knees?! Really?

2009-05-04T12:54:00.009-05:00

This week should yield 3 more posts. Next week . . . well, let's just say the outlook is poor.

The Grizzwells 5/4/09
I wasn't aware that the IRS collected flesh, I always though it was money. I don't think they would take a pound of flesh in place of money or people would be trying that every year.

Ferd'nand 5/4/09

What the hell is Ferd'nand trying to do here anyway? I'm pretty sure the shadow is going to win no matter how big or small it is. It's a shadow, it can't be hurt because it has no corporeal body. Stupid Ferd'nand, I guess not talking for 90 years or however long he's been mute, makes you dumb.

Daddy's Home 5/4/09

You probably have to click to make this one bigger.

Is there really a Tighty-Whitey brand of underwear? There should be. I know I'd invest, if I had any money.

9 Chickweed Lane 5/4/09

Forget the heels and why they might be diagonal in the first panel. My problem is that his favorite part was her knees. Who like knees? Is it just because you can't say breasts on the comic page? He could have at least said her neck was his favorite part. That makes more sense than her knees.

Maybe she gave him a knee-job. Although I don't know what a knee-job would consist of, it sounds terrible.

I sincerly hope there is no such thing as a knee-job.

Must Be Named After The Quarterback

2009-05-04T12:50:00.003-05:00

Bradycardia - An abnormally slow heart rate.

Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define it without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

I Am Stupid

2009-04-30T13:10:00.009-05:00

Now that we got that 100th post out of the way, we can get back to bashing comics.

EDIT: I just realized, some 8 hours after writing today's post, that I forgot a post title. It has been added and I think it is appropriate.

The Argyle Sweater 4/30/09
Noah's Ark jokes have been old for thousands of years. If you believe that sort of thing.

La Cucaracha 4/30/09
Is there a bottled water company out there that advertises its water as 'fat-free'? That seems like it's implying that some company out there actually is making bottled water with fat in it.

And yes, I stole that joke from Lewis Black.

Joe Vanilla 4/30/09

"And try to keep from melting into the chair."

F Minus 4/30/09

It's a common mistake to confuse Boot Camp with Boot Fetish Camp. One is horrible beyond description and the other one involves the military.

The Barn 4/30/09
This was the best you could come up with? You've got a talking sheep answering the phone at a Vet Clinic and the best joke you could scrounge up was a wrong number? You couldn't come up with something about confusing veteran and veterinarians? That would have been much funnier.

Reality Check 4/30/09
It's almost like you're standing in a library full of people that don't talk.

Are mimes supposed to keep their miming to a minimum when they're in the library?

9 Chickweed Lane 4/30/09
Excuse me for a moment.

*hurl*

The Dinette Set 4/30/09
I don't understand what the punchline of this panel is. Something to do with AIG employees being really rich? Because that's a false assumption, most of the people working at AIG aren't any more wealthy than the average person.

The reason I hate The Dinette Set: It tries to do too many things and sucks at all of them.

Cow & Boy 4/30/09
What's this? Continuity in a non-Soap comic strip? Blasphemy! And it's from a month ago! And it's still funny!

Newsflash: Almost Popular Blog Hits Meaningless Milestone, Plans To Celebrate For No Reason

2009-04-28T11:34:00.018-05:00

Here we are. The 100th post of the Blog of Comics and stuff, formerly the Sometimes blog. The name and URL had to change because I went from posting sometimes to posting 5 days a week. I haven't always been able to keep up the 5 day a week schedule, but I've done pretty well for all the other things I have to do. Since this blog started in December I started another blog that is much more popular than this one and I joined an even more popular blog. The Blog of comics and other stuff hasn't featured much 'other stuff' so far, I've got the Word of the Day and that's it. I always planned on having other things, but I've been sidetracked by other obligations and real-life situations. School, moving, Marmaduke, and the DCR have all taken time away from the Blog of comics, but I think that it has refined my style and made me better at what I do.

Obviously the goal is too be the next Josh Fruhlinger or Joe Mathlete, but that is just something to shoot for, not something I think will happen. They had original ideas or a new way to implement an idea, the rest of us are just copying. But they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and I hope they see it that way. Those two luminaries aside, the reason I began this particular blog goes by the name Bryce Baker. He started the Daily Comics Review just over a year ago now and last December he asked for new people to join his cause. Even as I voiced my interest, Bryce wanted a sample of my writing skills. That sample of writing has morphed into this collection of rants, reviews, and medical word information.

I am quite proud of my body of work. I never thought that I would keep it going for 4 weeks, much less 4 months. My relative success (15 readers a day!?) has kept me in the game and I look forward to the 200th post, which projections have at sometime in August/September. Several of my ideas have transferred from this blog to the DCR. Webcomic of the Week is the only one that has a name to it and has been controversal at times and always fun to do. I've made contacts with creator/authors and there is something special I have to share from the one I know the best. Brian Russell of The Underfold has made a special edition of The Underfold which I requested and then unrequested and then said it would be cool if he wanted to do one anyway even though I didn't plan on using anything for the post, but he's a cool guy and made a great comic to mark the occasion. I cannot thank him enough.

A new comic post will be out by the end of the week. And it looks to be a big one.

The Underfold Blog of Comics and Other Stuff 100th Post Special

You Down With PPD?

2009-04-27T13:33:00.005-05:00

PPD - Purified Protien Derivative. A skin test for tuberculosis antibodies. A false positive can occur if the patient has been exposed to TB in the past but does not have active TB . Also called Mantoux Test.

I had to look up the proper spelling of Mantoux. Damn Frenchmen.

Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define it without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

Close to a Point

2009-04-27T09:31:00.005-05:00

I apologize for all those days I missed. This week should be a little better.

I'm also gearing up for a very special post. Those of you keeping track (read: none of you) might notice that I'm nearing the 100 post mark. I haven't decided what I'm doing, but I hoping for something really cool.

Luann 4/27/09
I'm sure that's what firefighters are saying. "Oh, my stars! Thank goodness for these suits or we'd be burned alive, don'tcha know!"

Grand Avenue 4/27/09
Does anyone pay attention to yippy dogs besides their owners? And this is surely a sign that iPods are on the way out. There's no coming back from becoming a comic strip joke.

B.C. 4/27/09

The people that own the rights to Captain Caveman are going to be pissed at B.C.

Also, does that guy have no sensation in his skin? He should be able to feel if it's humid or not just by standing there.

Soup to Nutz 4/27/09

What the hell kind of bug is that? It looks like an ant, but it has wings and is extremely aggressive. It would make a little sense if this was set in Australia or Africa where they have crazy bugs like that.

Cow & Boy 4/27/09

Question: How did Cow get his wings on?

Answer: Who cares? He's got a flame thrower!

2009-04-22T13:11:00.003-05:00

Prodrome - An early, nonspecific symptom of that occurs before an acute attack of illness.

Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define it without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

Witty Comment Not Found

2009-04-21T13:14:00.006-05:00

Spirochete - Bacteria of the Spirochaeta family. Spirochaeta bacteria have a worm-like appearance. A type of this bacteria is the cause of syphilis.

Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define it without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

PONIES!

2009-04-21T11:15:00.005-05:00

Nothing much to say today. Enjoy the comic beatdown.

Heathcliff 4/21/09 Those dogs aren't pissed because Heathcliff caught them, they're pissed because they were transported from the Enterprise and ended up half-embedded in a wall.

Honestly, is this just laziness by the artist? Or does he not know that this looks like crap?

Luann 4/21/09

Why is Luann dating a midget Elvis impersonator? And why are her parents so stupid? I hate Luann. I wish it would die.

The Buckets 4/21/09

You will probably need to click-to-enlarge the comic to see it, but the comic is called "Wolver-Man". I just thought that I would share that with you because it's so awesome.

Brevity 4/21/09

Does the Brawny guy really exist? And would he buy Brawny paper-towels?

Also, I like the fact that not even the Wimpy brand guy wants to buy Wimpy brand paper-towels.

The Other Coast 4/21/09

How many Bear-Human encounters involve drinking and showing pictures of your house to bears? I've never had a Bear-Human encounter like that and I likely never will. Please, share any of your Bear-Human encounters that involved anything other than running away and shitting your pants.

Cow & Boy 4/21/09

Cow & Boy continues to defy description. It is useless through three panels, but cranks out the awesome with the last panel. Just imagine the insanity it could induce if it was four daily panels as insane as the last one seen here.

What Happens in Vagus. . .

2009-04-20T12:58:00.004-05:00

Vagus Nerve - Also known as Cranial Nerve X or the 10th cranial nerve. Provides innervation to pharynx, larynx, trachea, lungs, heart, esophagus, and most of the intestinal tract. I think it's safe to say that the vagus nerve is pretty damn important.

Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define it without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

Some Blog

2009-04-17T11:36:00.004-05:00

Posting is going to be very erratic for the next month or two as I finish school and move around a bit. I'll try to get 3 a week at least, but I can't make any promises.

Would you really miss me anyway?

Lola 4/17/09
The spider would have changed many times over that pig's lifetime. And that pig wouldn't be made into sausage because it's too old.

Might make a good football though.

Betty 4/17/09

You know what I'm concerned about in this comic? That this doesn't happen in real life. Parents have no idea what their kids are doing and honestly, I don't think they even care. There has been much controversy about videogames and their role in causing violence. My belief is that if parents took a bit of interest in what their kids were playing, kids would have a better understanding of what is being depicted in games. I don't think that violent videogames cause kids to be more violent. Kids that do crazy shit after playing a game were probably going to do something crazy no matter what.

Sorry about that. Now back to your regularly scheduled humor.

Candorville 4/17/09

Dear Susan: Due to the current economic climate, you're fired. And please don't come into my office and yell at me because I'm a pathetic excuse for a human being that can't be bothered with experiencing the pain and suffering my gigantic bonus has caused.

Pleasant, isn't it?

2009-04-16T11:16:00.004-05:00

Hydrocele - accumulation of fluid in the scrotum.

Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define it without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

Yet Another Reason to Drink

2009-04-15T13:06:00.004-05:00

Another day of posting in a timely manner? What has happened? Have I gone off the deep end?

No, I just have some free time and am doing what I said I would do. I'll let you know when I've lost it.

Secret Asian Man 4/15/09
Cigarettes actually pay for quite a bit. Think of all the taxes on cigarettes. Those taxes are paying for all kinds of stuff: schools, roads, Medicare. If the government pays for it, cigarettes are helping.

Just imagine all the stuff the government could buy if they started taxing prostitution and drugs like marijuana and Ecstasy.

Luann 4/15/09

TJ is the creepiest character on the comic page. Seriously, if you ever say someone that looked like that in real life, you would run. Or maybe hit him with the mace.

Also, what's the deal with the crepes? Who even has time to make crepes? Just put your berries or whatever on a pancake. It's the same thing and you don't have to waste time wrapping the stupid thing.

Frank & Earnest 4/15/09

Does the IRS even accept cash? And who would be able to afford to pay cash except for the super-wealthy? Not many people I know have thousands of extra dollars in cash laying around.

The Other Coast 4/15/09

I guess the writer lives in a house with no windows and doesn't own a calender. I'm in Minnesota and it's f*cking hot out. If it were to precipitate, it would be rain, not snow.

Also, that guy is incredibly stupid. "Gee, how did he know it was me?" Maybe because he has eyes, you f*cking imbecile.

The Meaning of Lila 4/15/09

Are there any managers reading this right now? Would you let your employees skip work because it's their birthday? You might let them use vacation days or maybe a personal day, but you wouldn't let them out of work just because it's their birthday, would you? I know I wouldn't, but I'm a heartless, evil bastard of a person.

Also, even if they did let you leave for your birthday, any company worth its salt will have records of that kind of thing and if they catch you trying to do it twice, you'll likely be sacked.

Why the Complicated Name?

2009-04-15T12:54:00.003-05:00

α-tocopherol - the most prevalent form of vitamin E in the human body.

Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define it without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

The Blog is Risen, Risen Indeed

2009-04-14T18:49:00.003-05:00

Ah, it feels good to be back in the saddle. Of course, I've never been in a real saddle, but it feels good to be destroying the 'jokes' in comic strips again.

Graffiti 4/14/09
What a fresh joke this is. Only 15 years behind the curve set by sitcoms and stand-up comedians. And I have never seen a toupee that remotely resembled a hood. Such a thing would be even dumber than Graffiti, and that's pretty tough.

Agnes 4/14/09
Does Agnes live in the early 1990's? What child has access to a fax machine? And I'm pretty sure that teachers wouldn't accept a fax, at least not in elementary school.

Drabble 4/14/09
Yep, women only have one purpose: to annoy men. And men's only purpose is to lie about being annoyed by women.

I wonder if this kind of humor would be acceptable is Hilary Clinton was the President. My guess is that no one would notice because only people like me read Drabble.

Arlo & Janis 4/14/09
I don't understand the joke. Is it that he doesn't want his phone to work so he doesn't have to talk to his wife? Is it that she wants his phone to work so she can contact him at all times?
WHERE IS THE JOKE?!?

I am tired of comic strip writers thinking that they can phone it in and no one will notice or care. Soon there will only webcomics if you keep it up guys. Half the retarded manga fan art webcomics I sift through each week looking for something decent is better than this.

Capitalism Wins Again!

2009-04-14T11:44:00.002-05:00

My latest attempt at reader participation has yielded the following results: 7 votes. 4 people prefer Project Wonderful ads. 3 people prefer no ads and think that I am a capitalist pig.

The people have spoken, Project Wonderful ads shall remain.

And yes, I would have taken down all ads if that had been the wish of the majority.

I would too, stop doubting me. It's not like I make any money anyway. The big money is on Marmaduke for the Masses.

There will be a comic post at some point today, but it may be much later than ever before.

A What Kind of Bear?

2009-04-14T11:37:00.006-05:00

After a long layoff, I have returned. Many things contributed to the work stoppage and they should be resolved for now. We start off with a Word of the Day. Enjoy.

Phytobezoar - gastric concretion of vegetable matter such as skins and seeds.

Basically a mass of undigestable vegetable material gets stuck in the intestine, which can lead to infections and other problems.

Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

A Return to Partial Sanity

2009-04-09T13:30:00.005-05:00

Sorry about yesterday, but wow. After seeing that Gil Thorp, I just couldn't concentrate on anything else which sucks because I had some good comics to mock. So, instead of discarding all of them, I've included a couple from yesterday and a couple from today. Combined, they are not as insane as yesterday's Gil Thorp.

Nancy 4/8/09
Sign of spring: the month switched from March to April.

Sign of spring: the temperature is consistently over freezing.

Sign of spring: people no longer have to read Nancy because they can go outside.

Does Anaheim still have the Rally Monkey?

The Dinette Set 4/8/09

This panel features a continuation of one of the worst jokes in recent memory. What's so funny about movies being made into ice shows? Is it that they would never work as ice shows? Because that's pretty lame.

Also, the joke about hemorrhoids is pretty f*cking stupid. If you've ever had a hemorroid, you know that it is not a laughing matter.

F Minus 4/9/09

My pieces point to him trying to masturbate while floating on a couch. Where do your pieces point?

Luann 4/9/09

So that's what the kids call it nowadays? They must be going to have anal sex.

Like the Crypt Keeper?

2009-04-09T11:40:00.004-05:00

Cryptorchidism - the condition of having an undescended testicle.

Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

My Mind Hurts

2009-04-08T16:03:00.003-05:00

I could only do one today because of it's magnificence.

Gil Thorp 4/8/09Do not think about the physics of these four panels for too long or you will go blind.

Why Lord? WHY?

2009-04-08T13:03:00.005-05:00

Lordosis - Exaggerated forward curvature of the lumbar and cervical regions of the spine.

Is there any word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.
Must be a medical word because that is what I have been studying.

Super Post to the Rescue!

2009-04-07T12:53:00.011-05:00

Sorry about the other day, I was being lazy and then I had to do the DCR post because Bryce was out of commission. Here's a bunch for you today. I even ventured to the depths of Gocomics.com for you today.

Remember to take breaks when using your computer for extended time periods.

Bound and Gagged 4/7/09
This is either a poop joke or a subtle jab at the state of London's premier newspaper.

I bet it's a poop joke.

Reynolds Unwrapped 4/7/09

Much funnier caption:"The lip transplant didn't take so they put an organ in her mouth."

That's right, I went there.

Joe Vanilla 4/7/09

Silly crudely drawn man, don't you know that no one actually reads blogs?

Secret Asian Man 4/7/09

I went to see Watchmen (not as good as advertised, but what is these days?) and for some reason, another theater patron decided that it would be a good idea to bring their small child. I mean really small, only slightly bigger than an infant. What is wrong with people? First off, the material is too smart for most adults to understand so a child that can't speak doesn't need to speak. Second off, there was some extreme violence and nudity which no child needs to see. Third off, the movie wasn't that good, I could have told you it wasn't going to be that good in January. If you couldn't find someone to babysit, it wouldn't have been a loss to stay at home.

The child didn't make any noise at least.

The Knight Life 4/7/09

It looks more like a cat than a cat-woman. And I don't think that the Hulk cares about the environment since he his a mindless killing machine (the good Hulk is anyway).

It's All About You 4/7/09

Women only exist to make men feel guilty. Nice display of originality. NOT!

Did you see what I did there? Using an old, unoriginal joke to mock a comic that's using an old, unoriginal joke is great fun. You should try it.

Girls & Sports 4/7/09

Damn that equality. Why couldn't the men of the '60's and '70's have stood up to those bitches?
Probably because they were burning their bras, which makes it impossible to say no to a woman.

BC 4/7/09

Women's only joy in life is to tell others what to do. Even cavemen were subjected to the tyranny of the cavewomen.

Was it Woman Bashing Day or something? I found 3 comics and I only looked at slightly more than what you see here.

F Minus 4/7/09

Do they have cookies in the Girl Scout Reserves? If so, then sign me up!

Oh damn, I forgot I'm not a 12-year-old girl. Anymore.

Just kidding. I'll always be a 12-year-old girl in my heart.

Little Dog Lost 4/7/09

Yes, trust the lemming. He is your friend and would never lead you to danger. The lemming will always protect you.

Until you run off a cliff because you were dumb enough to trust the lemming.

That Is Disgusting

2009-04-07T11:57:00.002-05:00

Steatorrhea - excessive discharge of fat in the feces sometimes causing the feces to float, aka a floater.

Is there any word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

Must be a medical word because that is what I have been studying.

Poll Time Again

2009-04-06T15:26:00.000-05:00

There is totally a new poll to vote on. That is all there is today because I am busy/lazy and am doing other things. Sorry!

Why Are There Giant Dog Statues?

2009-04-03T14:46:00.005-05:00

First: You may have noticed a different look. That's because I got rid of all those pesky Google Ads and got some nice Project Wonderful ads. Right now, they're all blank, but soon there will ads from all kinds of places.

Second: There really isn't a second, but here are the comics for today.

PC and Pixel 4/3/09Either the joke is so intelligent that I don't get it or so stupid that I don't get it. I'm betting on the latter.

Lola 4/3/09
This is sadly true, as anyone with a Facebook account knows. The lastest update basically made it look like Twitter, but with more crap thrown in.

Ferd'nand 4/3/09
Where did Ferd'nand get that bathing suit? If you look closely at the first panel, he is clearly not wearing anything under his pants, and there is no suit pictured nearby.

Also, you would have to hit the ball with a force that is beyond human capability for it to do that.

Oh, my science! Ferd'nand is an android. Or maybe a mutant. Or maybe the writer doesn't care about the laws of physics.

Probably the last one.

Betty 4/3/09
Also, you're not a chef, you're a bitch.

Is Your Mouth Watering?

2009-04-03T13:12:00.003-05:00

Sialorrhea - excessive secretion of saliva. Like really excessive.

Fresh Meat

2009-04-02T19:04:00.006-05:00

We have some new(er) comics to add to the list of unreadable, unfunny garbage. Today's first two comics are new to comics.com and, as usual, terrible. At least they are so far, we'll see if they get any better.

Little Dog Lost 4/2/09Yeah, don't yell anything at me from your coffin after you die and are unable to speak because you are no longer alive.

I hate when people say stupid things like that.

It's All About You 4/2/09
What if I sold my soul to the Devil? Then you'd be messing with his property and I don't think that's something you want.

Also, please don't punch me in the face. I don't care what you do to my soul, but leave my face alone.

Girls & Sports 4/2/09
Why is technology involved in . . . that word? Damn, I'm so manly that I can't even type it. I must have dropped an extra testicle recently.

Side Note: If I had dropped an extra testicle, I would have 5. That's right, I was born with 4 testicles.

Side Note to Side Note: I do not have extra testicles. I have the normal amount for a regular human.

Side Note to Side Note of Side Note: This has been an exercise to see how many times I could type testicle in reference to one comic. I think I did pretty good.

Family Tree 4/2/09
Sales people are stupid. People that believe sales people are really stupid. I'm not saying they're stupid all the time, they just made a stupid decision based on someone exploiting their emotions.

B.C. 4/2/09
His 'dignity' must be huge because that's one long throat.

Arlo & Janis 4/2/09
I don't understand what being a man has to do with shitting in the garden. Are a lot of guys shitting in their girlfriend's/wife's garden? If they are they should likely be arrested because that is indecent exposure, among other things.

Committed 4/2/09
Ha . . . ha . . . ha. What a clever joke about the fact that babies can't communicate. How mind-numbingly original. Wait, what's that thing that's the opposite of original? Because the definition of that word is this comic.

Not Another Meta Post

2009-04-02T13:38:00.003-05:00

Comics are coming later, I just wanted to update you all on some of the cool stuff I've been doing.

In the past week or so, I have joined Blogged and the Comics Blog Elite. I encourage you to go to these sites and rate and review the site.

There are ads for sale on Marmaduke for the Masses through Project Wonderful, it's a great way to advertise without spending much money.

I've gotten in contact with a couple of webcomic creators, but that's mostly news for the DCR. We are in the process of creating a podcast at the DCR, so look for that in the coming weeks. With any luck it will become a regular feature. I think you guys will really like it, as long as you like listening to people that don't know what they're doing.

That's all the happenings around here, check for those comics later today.

Use Your Mind

2009-04-01T16:29:00.001-05:00

Today's post is in your mind.

That's the best I could come up with for a joke. I'm sad now.

Are You Hyper?

2009-04-01T11:51:00.005-05:00

Hyperalimentation - a state in which the alimentary canal is contracting very quickly, causing death.

APRIL FOOL'S

Pretty lame, right? It was the best I could think up in the 4 minutes that I was thinking of something to do. Here's the real definition.

1. Ingestion of an amount of nutrients that is greater than the demands of the appetite. 2. Administration of nutrients intravenously to patients that are unable to eat normally.

The Short and Long of It

2009-03-31T14:39:00.005-05:00

A short post today, for those of you that don't have the attention span to, oh, look a bird. What was I saying? Oh yeah, the post is short so you can fini. Did I remember to feed the dog? Damn, I forgot again. Whatever, here's the post.

Wizard of Id 3/31/09
Do you really want to crack jokes about people losing their jobs right now? Doesn't seem like the best way to go with the current job market.

Also, Wizard of Id is really lame, even when it has a real joke.

Cow & Boy 3/31/09
You may not be able to see it, but it kind of looks like a laptop glued to Cow's ass. Would that make it an asstop computer?

Luann 3/31/09
Cue sexy-time music and Luann will make the jump to full porn.

Tune in next week as Luann makes the leap to hardcore.

The Biggest Post in the World

2009-03-30T14:25:00.006-05:00

A Super-Hugely Gigantic Post for you today. Enjoy.

Speed Bump 3/30/09
Another crappy wordplay. Comic strips would be lost without them, as seen here.

The Barn 3/30/09
Now here's a wordplay I can get behind.

Side note: any hockey franchise would love to have a cow on its team. Imagine how much damage a cow could dish out on the ice. Sweetness.

Secret Asian Man 3/30/09
Sadly this is how almost everyone reacts when asked to help with volunteer work. Except all those awesome people that went to help fill sandbags in Fargo last week. Those people are cool.

Nancy 3/30/09
This is not a question for a horrible comic strip. It's not even a question for a good comic strip. This is a question for those among us that have way to much f***ing time and can afford to waste it debating nothing with no one.

Monty 3/30/09
Time travel should never be used for anything, ever. So this guy went back and is thought to be Lincoln's assassin. What happened to Booth? Time travel can never work because there is no way to predict all the variables of what will change simply because there is one more person in that time period than there should be.

Side note: Don't ruminate on time travel for more than a few minutes or you will bleed from the nose.

Luann 3/30/09
Luann - the soft-core porn of the comics page.

Grand Avenue 3/30/09
Why is there always this kid in class? It doesn't even matter what grade level you're talking about, there is always an overachiever that does way more than needed.

If you can't tell, I'm not one of those people. Although I possess an extremely high IQ, I hate to do more than is required. This is why I have yet to complete one semester of community college even though I have attempted it three times.

Two more months and I'll be done with a whole, entire year, so I'm nearly there.

Free Range 3/30/09
Just off panel there is a pedophilic serial killer.

Clearly they did not think this joke through.

Flight Deck 3/30/09
Is that what widows really talk about? And how f***ed in the head do you have to be to still blame stuff on your husband 8 years after he dies?

This panel just supports the stereotype that married women are the bitchiest things in the world.

I do not think that, just in case you were wondering.

Agnes 3/30/09
In a related story, I've been pre-approved for a loan, 13 credit cards, and I may have won $1 million.

Did that make you laugh? It shouldn't, this joke is getting pretty old.

Ten, count'em, ten comics today. I hope you're happy now because this big a post doesn't come around very often.

The Conclusion

2009-03-30T11:53:00.004-05:00

You didn't think I forgot about the last Word of the Day, did you? Well, I didn't, so here is the finale that helps you understand the beginning.

Diverticulum - an abnormal outpouching of a body structure, ususally of the intestine.

Herb & Jamaal Sucks

2009-03-27T12:52:00.005-05:00

That's a really bad post title, but I'm tapped at the moment. There's a Word of the Day if you keep scrolling down a bit after you finish reading this post. Enjoy.

Ben 3/27/09

How did she know that he grabbed a muffin? Or is it a cupcake? Whatever. This is the number one reason to own a dog.

Rose is Rose 3/27/09

I don't know or care about what is happening in the dialog, I want to know what is going on with his face? It looks like he has mouth like a squid or octopus. I could draw that well and I have no fingers.

Ferd'nand 3/27/09

Airplanes have the overhead storage covered and limits on what you can shove in there, so they have to be on a bus or train. Buses usually have storage underneath, so that leaves train. Who travels by train anymore? Does Ferd'nand live on the East Coast?

Herb & Jamaal 3/27/09

Another scathing observation from Herb & Jamaal.

Of course mechanics don't make a profit on parts, that's why they charge for labor. If they didn't then they would go broke.

Why do newspapers still pay for this crap? This joke was old in the '50's; the fact that someone got paid money to write this is a crime.

A What in the Who-Now?

2009-03-27T11:41:00.005-05:00

Finally, a Word of the Day. I know it's been a long time and that I suck, but here you go.

Meckel's Diverticulum - A congenital diverticulum formed by the incomplete obliteration of the vitelline duct

Stayed tuned if you want to find out what a diverticulum is.

Wrath of the Vacuum

2009-03-26T11:15:00.005-05:00

Another daily dose of comic bashing is on the way to your mind. Prepare yourself.

Rubes 3/26/09What do they what equality for? And why don't they have shoes on?

Rubes fails today, as it usually does.

Pickles 3/26/09

??

What the hell does that mean? Is opal a good thing?

Moderately Confused 3/26/09

The writer couldn't come up with a more original name for a Chinese restaurant than Hunan Palace?

So the joke is that the guy doesn't know that you can buy fortune cookies at the store? Or is it that he thinks the fortunes at Hunan Palace are better than at the other palaces?

I hate comic panels sometimes.

B.C. 3/26/09

B.C. is continuing to add unintentional humor with inappropriate sound effects.

At least SNATCH is better than POOP.

Dog Eat Doug 3/26/09

Dr. Who is cool.

That is all.

I Love Big Cable Networks

2009-03-25T13:06:00.007-05:00

As promised, here is another large post for you. Try not to laugh too loud, I don't want you getting in trouble at work.

The Buckets 3/25/09

I think Ricky is the only one actually made by a child. The other ones were made by the parent(I don't want to be sexist unintentionally) that has experience with woodworking.

My favorite is the NASA one because it probably cost $100 million to make and will explode after 3 uses.

(Too soon?)

Neurotica 3/25/09
I think she's distressed because she has no arms in the second panel. They just disappear and then reappear in the last panel. I'd hate to see the person that looks good when that happens.

Minimum Security 3/25/09

Panic: our only growth industry.

And yes, I stole that from the Colbert Report. Airing Monday-Thursday at 10pm central time. Only on Comedy Central.

I wonder if I'll get something for the free advertising for the Colbert Report on Comedy Central?

Probably not, I hear Viacom is an evil corporation.

But that's not what I believe. In my opinion Viacom is a friendly company that loves its employees and cares about the Earth.

I love Viacom.*

The Fusco Brothers 3/25/09

What is going on here? He seems to be drinking, but I don't know why Chuck would be upset by that.

This comic is really stupid sometimes.

Or is it me?

It's hard to make a sentence with only 2 letter words. Try it sometime.

This next one make an appearance due to a reader request/suggestion. A reader sent me an e-mail about yesterday's Eek!, but it was after I had already done the day's work so I decided to do today's Eek! especially for her.

Eek! 3/25/09

Saturday Night Live did this joke a long time ago. It was a Christopher Walken episode.

It would be weird to work with someone that didn't wear pants. You'd always be staring at their genitals. It would be doubly weird if it was a centaur, what with the giant horse penis and all.

Cul de Sac 3/25/09

My "boss" at The DCR really like Cul de Sac, but after reading this garbage I can't understand why. Maybe it's just an off day for the strip, or maybe he's off his rocker.

Adam @ Home 3/25/09

This comic is the equivalent of a man saying that he hasn't had cervical cancer.

That's how stupid Adam @ Home is.

*If you got the reference then please get out of my head.

2009-03-25T12:00:00.003-05:00

Wow! I'm impressed that over 11 people voted on the last poll. In fact 12 people voted. That's at least twice as many votes as the last poll. Anyway, it seems most people are looking for 4 or 5 comics each day. And some people want me to do every comic every day. You people are the definition of crazy. However, at least one of you sent me an e-mail and explained that you didn't really want me to do all the comics every day, which was nice.

The problem for me remains: how do I maintain an update schedule of 5 or so comics a day? The answer? I average 5 comics a day. That way I can do 6 or 7 on days that I have the time and 2 or 3 when I don't have as much time. So you can expect to see a varience in the number of comics that appear here each day, but they will still be terrible and I will still make fun of them.

Word of the Day, it should be noted, has become more Word of the Moment because I haven't the time to think of an interesting word every damn day. So if you were looking for that daily, you can stop because it will be very erratic. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

Look for a comic update later today.

USPS Is Better Than UPS Because They Have An Extra Letter

2009-03-24T11:27:00.006-05:00

Sorry about yesterday, but I was overloaded. I still have a lot on my plate, but I have some extra time so it all works out. Here's an extra-large update for you.

B.C. 3/24/09 Is "POOP" supposed to be a sound effect? Because all I'm getting is that the bird took a crap between the panels.

Flo & Friends 3/24/09 Haha, another joke about old people and how they have bad memories. Hahaha. Stop, stop, you're killing me with your originality.

Rudy Park 3/24/09

How does this relate to the recession? People have been failing to be healthy for decades, not just in the last year.

Why do comic strips even try to be up-to-date.

Pickles 3/24/09

Oh, my.

Why? Why? That's all I want to know. WHY!!??

Momma 3/24/09

Yes, all of us men are sociopaths that want to capture women to be our personal slaves.

What would comic strips do if stereotypes didn't exist? I think they would cease to be and we could all get on with our lives.

Herb & Jamaal 3/24/09

Does that mean she thinks he is stupid? There are much better and simpler ways to insult someone, especially when you aren't even talking out loud. You can think anything to yourself and no one will ever know, so why use some kind of insane metaphor.

I have never heard anyone say that in reference to anything, ever. Not even in reference to an actual path.

The Dinette Set 3/24/09

Fuck you, Dinette Set. Fuck you. My dad was a postal carrier and was on time every motherfucking day. Even the days when it snowed 6 feet in an hour, you could count on the mail being delivered. So fuck you for being ignorant assholes.

Sorry about all that, but I have strong feelings when you insult my family, even if it's not directly or intentionally.