2 Comics and an Announcement

Sorry for being away for so long, but things kind of sucked around here. But now that school has started again I think that I can get back in the habit of regular posting both here and at the DCR.

And for those of you that can remember back when I did a little blog called xy Explains Marmaduke for the Masses and enjoyed it, I have a special announcement:

Starting today I will be restarting that blog as an invitation only site. If you would like to be on the list, send me your email address or leave it in a comment or let me know some other way. The reason that it will be by invitation only is to prevent what happened the last May. I don't need that again.




Agnes 1/11/10

I thought Agnes was supposed to be at least kind of smart. Even if she's only slightly above average she should know what SCUBA means.

Also, you generally don't have pants on when SCUBA diving. You either have a swimsuit or a wet suit on. I've even seen it done naked, but I have never seen anyone wearing pants.

Also also, I do happen to know exactly what SCUBA means but I don't want to tell you because I think you should figure it out for yourself.

Betty 1/11/10

It's a terrible day when I agree with something in a Betty strip.

At least it's almost topical. If this had come out a month or two ago it would have been perfect timing, but since I haven't heard that song on the radio for quite some time, at least not with the regularity that I once did, this strip doesn't get points for timeliness.

The Blog is Risen, Risen Indeed

Ah, it feels good to be back in the saddle. Of course, I've never been in a real saddle, but it feels good to be destroying the 'jokes' in comic strips again.


Graffiti 4/14/09
What a fresh joke this is. Only 15 years behind the curve set by sitcoms and stand-up comedians. And I have never seen a toupee that remotely resembled a hood. Such a thing would be even dumber than Graffiti, and that's pretty tough.



Agnes 4/14/09
Does Agnes live in the early 1990's? What child has access to a fax machine? And I'm pretty sure that teachers wouldn't accept a fax, at least not in elementary school.



Drabble 4/14/09
Yep, women only have one purpose: to annoy men. And men's only purpose is to lie about being annoyed by women.

I wonder if this kind of humor would be acceptable is Hilary Clinton was the President. My guess is that no one would notice because only people like me read Drabble.



Arlo & Janis 4/14/09
I don't understand the joke. Is it that he doesn't want his phone to work so he doesn't have to talk to his wife? Is it that she wants his phone to work so she can contact him at all times?
WHERE IS THE JOKE?!?

I am tired of comic strip writers thinking that they can phone it in and no one will notice or care. Soon there will only webcomics if you keep it up guys. Half the retarded manga fan art webcomics I sift through each week looking for something decent is better than this.

The Biggest Post in the World

A Super-Hugely Gigantic Post for you today. Enjoy.


Speed Bump 3/30/09
Another crappy wordplay. Comic strips would be lost without them, as seen here.




The Barn 3/30/09
Now here's a wordplay I can get behind.

Side note: any hockey franchise would love to have a cow on its team. Imagine how much damage a cow could dish out on the ice. Sweetness.



Secret Asian Man 3/30/09
Sadly this is how almost everyone reacts when asked to help with volunteer work. Except all those awesome people that went to help fill sandbags in Fargo last week. Those people are cool.



Nancy 3/30/09
This is not a question for a horrible comic strip. It's not even a question for a good comic strip. This is a question for those among us that have way to much f***ing time and can afford to waste it debating nothing with no one.



Monty 3/30/09
Time travel should never be used for anything, ever. So this guy went back and is thought to be Lincoln's assassin. What happened to Booth? Time travel can never work because there is no way to predict all the variables of what will change simply because there is one more person in that time period than there should be.

Side note: Don't ruminate on time travel for more than a few minutes or you will bleed from the nose.


Luann 3/30/09
Luann - the soft-core porn of the comics page.


Grand Avenue 3/30/09
Why is there always this kid in class? It doesn't even matter what grade level you're talking about, there is always an overachiever that does way more than needed.

If you can't tell, I'm not one of those people. Although I possess an extremely high IQ, I hate to do more than is required. This is why I have yet to complete one semester of community college even though I have attempted it three times.

Two more months and I'll be done with a whole, entire year, so I'm nearly there.


Free Range 3/30/09
Just off panel there is a pedophilic serial killer.

Clearly they did not think this joke through.



Flight Deck 3/30/09
Is that what widows really talk about? And how f***ed in the head do you have to be to still blame stuff on your husband 8 years after he dies?

This panel just supports the stereotype that married women are the bitchiest things in the world.

I do not think that, just in case you were wondering.



Agnes 3/30/09
In a related story, I've been pre-approved for a loan, 13 credit cards, and I may have won $1 million.

Did that make you laugh? It shouldn't, this joke is getting pretty old.


Ten, count'em, ten comics today. I hope you're happy now because this big a post doesn't come around very often.