Men Are Assholes? What Else Is New?

More unexpected downtime means another post! Enjoy your brains out.


The Meaning of Lila 5/14/09

Hahaha. Oh man, I'll never get tired of "men are terrible people" jokes.

If men are all such assholes, why do women keep coming back? It makes them look kind of stupid. As a wise man once said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."



Arlo & Janis 5/14/09

If the squirrels in your neighborhood are that aggressive, it's just payback for being an asshole and feeding them for so many years.



F Minus 5/14/09

It looks like he spent about $10 to make that suit and I don't know where you can get a $35 suit that isn't for a dog.



Nest Heads 5/14/09

"It's got that prime pidgeon-feeding location that all the lonely weirdos are really looking for in a bench."



Herb & Jamaal 5/14/09

So instead of hating Herb she is giving him the sexy eyes?

*hurl*

The Devin's In The Details

An expected post today, hopefully it won't interfer with additional posts this week.


Nest Heads 5/5/09 Yes, we know, old people don't get how the internet works, you can stop now. If this is good enough to be printed in newspapers, then I should be a novelist.



Rudy Park 5/5/09

This must have been written right when they were having the 'protests'. It's a little behind the times, but still funny.

To any of the people that may have participated in the Tea Bagging: You are stupid. If you don't make more than $250,000 a year, your taxes are not being increased. Stop being mad about things that you don't effect you.

I could go on, but in the interest of keeping my rage under control, I will stop for now.



F Minus 5/5/09
Why wouldn't the Devil use his devilish powers to get the pizza? I mean, come on, it's the Devil.



Daddy's Home 5/5/09
I'm not married, so I don't know if this is how it really works. It doesn't seem like it is, but I have no way of knowing at this point.

Any readers that are married are welcome to comment and tell us if this is a real situation.



B.C. 5/5/09
Why is that humiliating? Many animals have horny tissues, including humans.

B.C. fails in this attempt to use word play appropriately. Which is not uncommon, B.C. usually fails at its attempts to make jokes.



9 Chickweed Lane 5/5/09
So she jumped out of her shoes and off a cliff? Am I getting that right? And if she jumped from such a great height, why is she worried about her dress flying up? I'd be more worried about, you know, having all my bones crushed. Maybe that's just me.

And before Slager(formerly KT) can say it: yes, those do not appear to be six inch heels.

I Am Stupid

Now that we got that 100th post out of the way, we can get back to bashing comics.

EDIT: I just realized, some 8 hours after writing today's post, that I forgot a post title. It has been added and I think it is appropriate.

The Argyle Sweater 4/30/09
Noah's Ark jokes have been old for thousands of years. If you believe that sort of thing.



La Cucaracha 4/30/09
Is there a bottled water company out there that advertises its water as 'fat-free'? That seems like it's implying that some company out there actually is making bottled water with fat in it.


And yes, I stole that joke from Lewis Black.



Joe Vanilla 4/30/09

"And try to keep from melting into the chair."



F Minus 4/30/09

It's a common mistake to confuse Boot Camp with Boot Fetish Camp. One is horrible beyond description and the other one involves the military.



The Barn 4/30/09
This was the best you could come up with? You've got a talking sheep answering the phone at a Vet Clinic and the best joke you could scrounge up was a wrong number? You couldn't come up with something about confusing veteran and veterinarians? That would have been much funnier.



Reality Check 4/30/09
It's almost like you're standing in a library full of people that don't talk.

Are mimes supposed to keep their miming to a minimum when they're in the library?



9 Chickweed Lane 4/30/09
Excuse me for a moment.

*hurl*



The Dinette Set 4/30/09
I don't understand what the punchline of this panel is. Something to do with AIG employees being really rich? Because that's a false assumption, most of the people working at AIG aren't any more wealthy than the average person.

The reason I hate The Dinette Set: It tries to do too many things and sucks at all of them.



Cow & Boy 4/30/09
What's this? Continuity in a non-Soap comic strip? Blasphemy! And it's from a month ago! And it's still funny!

A Return to Partial Sanity

Sorry about yesterday, but wow. After seeing that Gil Thorp, I just couldn't concentrate on anything else which sucks because I had some good comics to mock. So, instead of discarding all of them, I've included a couple from yesterday and a couple from today. Combined, they are not as insane as yesterday's Gil Thorp.


Nancy 4/8/09
Sign of spring: the month switched from March to April.

Sign of spring: the temperature is consistently over freezing.

Sign of spring: people no longer have to read Nancy because they can go outside.


Does Anaheim still have the Rally Monkey?



The Dinette Set 4/8/09

This panel features a continuation of one of the worst jokes in recent memory. What's so funny about movies being made into ice shows? Is it that they would never work as ice shows? Because that's pretty lame.

Also, the joke about hemorrhoids is pretty f*cking stupid. If you've ever had a hemorroid, you know that it is not a laughing matter.

F Minus 4/9/09

My pieces point to him trying to masturbate while floating on a couch. Where do your pieces point?

Luann 4/9/09

So that's what the kids call it nowadays? They must be going to have anal sex.

Super Post to the Rescue!

Sorry about the other day, I was being lazy and then I had to do the DCR post because Bryce was out of commission. Here's a bunch for you today. I even ventured to the depths of Gocomics.com for you today.

Remember to take breaks when using your computer for extended time periods.


Bound and Gagged 4/7/09
This is either a poop joke or a subtle jab at the state of London's premier newspaper.

I bet it's a poop joke.



Reynolds Unwrapped 4/7/09

Much funnier caption:"The lip transplant didn't take so they put an organ in her mouth."

That's right, I went there.

Joe Vanilla 4/7/09

Silly crudely drawn man, don't you know that no one actually reads blogs?

Secret Asian Man 4/7/09

I went to see Watchmen (not as good as advertised, but what is these days?) and for some reason, another theater patron decided that it would be a good idea to bring their small child. I mean really small, only slightly bigger than an infant. What is wrong with people? First off, the material is too smart for most adults to understand so a child that can't speak doesn't need to speak. Second off, there was some extreme violence and nudity which no child needs to see. Third off, the movie wasn't that good, I could have told you it wasn't going to be that good in January. If you couldn't find someone to babysit, it wouldn't have been a loss to stay at home.

The child didn't make any noise at least.

The Knight Life 4/7/09

It looks more like a cat than a cat-woman. And I don't think that the Hulk cares about the environment since he his a mindless killing machine (the good Hulk is anyway).

It's All About You 4/7/09

Women only exist to make men feel guilty. Nice display of originality. NOT!

Did you see what I did there? Using an old, unoriginal joke to mock a comic that's using an old, unoriginal joke is great fun. You should try it.

Girls & Sports 4/7/09

Damn that equality. Why couldn't the men of the '60's and '70's have stood up to those bitches?
Probably because they were burning their bras, which makes it impossible to say no to a woman.

BC 4/7/09

Women's only joy in life is to tell others what to do. Even cavemen were subjected to the tyranny of the cavewomen.

Was it Woman Bashing Day or something? I found 3 comics and I only looked at slightly more than what you see here.

F Minus 4/7/09

Do they have cookies in the Girl Scout Reserves? If so, then sign me up!

Oh damn, I forgot I'm not a 12-year-old girl. Anymore.

Just kidding. I'll always be a 12-year-old girl in my heart.

Little Dog Lost 4/7/09

Yes, trust the lemming. He is your friend and would never lead you to danger. The lemming will always protect you.

Until you run off a cliff because you were dumb enough to trust the lemming.

Make Tonight a HuManwich Night

Just in case you didn't read about it already(and most of you didn't) there is a new poll, no really, it's over the the right of your screen, towards the top, it's about how much content you want to see, so I suggest that you vote on it, or I'll just start doing whatever the hell I want, and nobody wants that.

Did you realize that the last paragraph was a single sentence? It probably shouldn't be, but I wanted to see how long I could keep it going. Well, anyway, here's the day in comics:


The Barn 3/18/09
Yeah, chicks dig cows too. But not sheep, chicks hate sheep.



Rubes 3/18/09

Would this be any funnier if it were a human standing there and the last option was HuManwiches? I think it would, although, I am a cannibal.

F-Minus 3/18/09

The real trick is how he managed to tie himself in a way that he can't untie himself. I would pay more to see that than I would to see someone untie themselves.

Ferd'nand 3/18/09

I must say that I think it would be really hard to write a strip everyday without using words. Having said that, what the hell is going on? How is this a joke? And why is Ferd'nand trying to farm in his back yard?

The Buckets 3/18/09

Do young children really care about Star Wars anymore? I think that's more of a phenomenon for young-adults.

I guess Star Wars is still getting exposure through the Cartoon Network show. Did you know that they played it during Adult Swim last weekend?



B.C. 3/18/09

The only joke I see in the 4 panels presented to me is that the bird's callsign is Dookie 1. Everything else is just filler to me.

Congrats for making it all the way through today's post. You win the prize of satisfaction, unless you hated everything I said. Then you are just weird, why did you read it all if you hated it?

Lazy Tuesday

I am lazy today so you only get two. You're lucky you get that many.


Herb & Jamaal 2/24/09If that's the first sign of getting old, then I've been old for 10 years already. That really...uh...um...damn, I forgot what I was saying.



F-Minus 2/24/09
The boss must have had that toupee a long time if it was wearing thin. Or does he mean that the illusion is wearing thin? I guess we'll never know.

It's the Naked Tooth-Fairy-Monster!!

Reality Check 1/27/09

Sadly, this is, most likely, not far from the truth. I remeber reading an aritcle about people using their office computers to surf porn sites, while they were supposed to be working! It was a really high number of people that were doing it too. Although I don't think that many people are stripping down or masturbating, but it wouldn't really surprise me.



Girls & Sports 1/27/09
"Yeah, 60 years, maybe less if you have a loaded gun or a sharp knife."

If marriage was so terrible, no one would ever do it. It really is that simple.


Frazz 1/27/09

What kind of school is this? I've never seen pickle loaf on a school cafeteria menu or french dip, but I went to a shit school so I don't know the whole story. Pickle loaf and french dip should never be confused, ever.

F-Minus 1/27/09

Does anyone actually put up a tooth-fairy alarm? If that's the tooth-fairy, then I'm glad that I didn't ever wake up for that.

On a scientific note, I don't think those wings could lift that horrible monster. Also, his eyes are different sizes.