Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Larger Than Average

In order to makeup for not doing much of anything for awhile today's post is larger than usual.

In terms of comics I mean, not necessarily in terms of my contribution. Not that my contribution is much of anything most of the time anyway.

[Author's Note: I was hit with a trojan attack when this post was in it's formative stages and it took me quite some time to clean everything up. During that time I may have forgotten what I was going to say for some of the comics so what you read here might not be as funny as what I had originally been going to put.]

Adam@Home 1/19/10
I can't remember what I was going to say about this one. I think it had something to do with sex.

Don't blame me, blame internet assholes that design assholish programs to try to steal information. They may not have gotten any money, but they did manage to steal what I was thinking about, and in a way that is more damaging.

Not really, the money would have sucked way more.

Also, I think this is actually more humorous than what I was going to put in the first place.

Fred Basset 1/19/10
fred basset
If I was Fred's owner, I would feed him all the time. The worst kind of dog food I could get too. Why? Because it's time for Fred Basset to die. He isn't funny and he has nothing useful to say about anything. Usually animals are put down when they get old and decrepit, why has Fred been kept alive and forced to endure the this horrible state of existence?

Neurotica 1/19/10
Hellta is clearly supposed to be Delta. I have never flown Delta, but I do hate them. I hate them because they bought one of my home state's most visible companies: Northwest Airlines. Not that it really matters to me, but I do tend to have pride in where I come from, so when you mess with Minnesota you mess with me.

Not that I can do anything, but I can always dream that my actions will affect multi-billion dollar corporations.

Did you know that the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport is consistently one of the 30 busiest airports in the world?

Not in the U.S. In the world. It generally serves about 35 million passengers a year. Suck on that Leonard da Vinci-Fiumicino Airport.

The Fusco Brothers 1/19/10
the fusco brothers
.buıʎouuɐ ʎ11ɐǝɹ uoıʇuǝɯ oʇ ʇou

.sʇo1d ǝuoz ʇɥbı1ıʍʇ 1ɐǝɹ oʇ pǝɹɐdɯoɔ pǝpɹɐʇǝɹ ʎʇʇǝɹd sı uʍop-ǝpısdn buıǝq ǝbɐnbuɐ1 .buıuǝddɐɥ ǝq p1noʍ sʇnu ǝs1ǝ buıɥʇǝɯos ɹo ʎzɐɹɔ buıɥʇǝɯos buıop ǝq p1noʍ suǝı1ɐ ɹo pǝɯɹoɟǝp ǝq p1noʍ ssǝɹʇıɐʍ ǝɥʇ ɹo ǝ1doǝd ǝq p1noʍ pooɟ ǝɥʇ ǝuoz ʇɥbı1ıʍʇ ǝɥʇ uı ǝɔɐ1d buıʞɐʇ ʎ11ɐǝɹ ǝɹǝʍ ɹǝuuıp sıɥʇ ɟı

If you actually read that, go get a cookie, you deserve it.

Pluggers 1/19/10
A 50 inch waist? Holy crap! You shouldn't have a 50 inch waist unless you're 6'9'' or somewhere around there or perhaps you wish to die as soon as possible but without poison or guns.

I only have a 44 or 46 inch waist and I tend to hover around 300 pounds. There is little excuse for being fatter than me. Seriously, ask my friends, they will tell you.

Chuckle Bros, Ziggy, Speed Bump 1/19/10
chuckle bros
speed bump
(Frustrated comic strip snarker leaves keyboard to place head under the nearest automobile wheel)

I could only stay outside for a couple of minutes, it's too hot out there. It's over 20 degrees out there, it must be some kind of demonic heat wave.

Luckily the automobile didn't move so my head was not crushed. But after seeing these 3 again, I kind of wish it had been.


Anonymous said...

I handle baggage at a major airport. (Sorry, mine's bigger.) I can say, with confidence, that at least two-thirds of all baggage mishandling--lost luggage or damaged luggage--is the passenger's fault. Bags stuffed beyond capacity; no tags*; fragile stuff packed way too lightly; medication packed in checked bags**; passports in checked bags; the bottle of wine wrapped in a shirt in a soft-sided bag. And my favorite: the cheap soft-cardboard box, taped heavily on ONE side (single strip of cellophane tape on the other), filled with fifty pounds of books, that splits open the first time the contents shift.

*Name tags are often either left blank, or the names are scrawled illegibly. What the HELL, people.

**Airlines specifically WARN passengers against this, for God's sake. It's as if Grandma puts her heart pills in there deliberately, because "nobody tells ME what to do, you son of a---oh, my chest!!"

The other third? A lot of my coworkers are shiftless scumbags who don't care about your bags. Hey, you want cheap tickets; guess where the airline cuts costs? Management bonuses? Pfffrrrt.

I know none of this would register in the brain of Big Al, the gal, even if he/she/it read it; too busy pretending the world's ganging up on him/her/it. But whatever, I needed to vent.

xy said...

thanks for the tips.

i bet the metropolitan area your airport is in is way larger.