Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I am unable to come up with something clever today

Arlo &Janis 1/28/09
The next panel would be Janis in the kitchen,"Damn, I was so close this time. Well, maybe I'll put some antifreeze in his oatmeal in the morning, then it will all be mine! The purple cat-thing, the stupid kid that shows up occasionally, all mine, mwhahaha!"

"Wait, do I even want any of that stuff?"

Committed 1/28/09
I'm not really sure what this one is going for. Do people really plan more than a few weeks ahead? Sure, maybe a crazy motherfucker has his life planned out sixty years in advance, but since his day planner consists of him pissing in the snow, I don't think that counts.

Also, I'm pretty sure you don't get limbo and reincarnation. Those are from different religions. But I'm not an expert, anyone know for sure?

Also, I don't think you are reincarnated as plants, I'm pretty sure it's just animals. If you're bad you get to be a fly or something like that, not a fucking turnip. If you're good you get to go to stay human, but a better human. And if you're really good, you get to go to nirvana.

I mean really, if you're going to talk about that sort of thing in a comic that is seen by potentially tens of people, you should do your homework.

Ferd'nand 1/28/09
So who is the guy in the last two panels? If we assume that the guy in the blue robe is Ferd'nand, who is the guy in the orange robe? Is it Ferd'nand's clone? And why did he smash into that other guy? Ferd'nand was the one going really fast, not the orange robe guy. And that seems like it would be really serious, you know, since there is a broken leg involved. And what's wrong with the other guy? He doesn't seem to have any visible injury, is it something internal?

Well, it may not be funny, but you can't say Ferd'nand doesn't make you think.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

It's the Naked Tooth-Fairy-Monster!!

Reality Check 1/27/09

Sadly, this is, most likely, not far from the truth. I remeber reading an aritcle about people using their office computers to surf porn sites, while they were supposed to be working! It was a really high number of people that were doing it too. Although I don't think that many people are stripping down or masturbating, but it wouldn't really surprise me.

Girls & Sports 1/27/09
"Yeah, 60 years, maybe less if you have a loaded gun or a sharp knife."

If marriage was so terrible, no one would ever do it. It really is that simple.

Frazz 1/27/09
What kind of school is this? I've never seen pickle loaf on a school cafeteria menu or french dip, but I went to a shit school so I don't know the whole story. Pickle loaf and french dip should never be confused, ever.

F-Minus 1/27/09
Does anyone actually put up a tooth-fairy alarm? If that's the tooth-fairy, then I'm glad that I didn't ever wake up for that.
On a scientific note, I don't think those wings could lift that horrible monster. Also, his eyes are different sizes.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I Need Form Your Ass!!

Heathcliff 1/26/09
Why is that guy speaking to Heathcliff? He does know that Heathcliff is a cat and not an angry midget, right? In any case, Heathcliff only has one bag so it's not like he's taking a ton of food. And it kind of looks like there is only one bag so I can't blame him for wanting to eat.
What the hell are those other ladies doing? Why don't they just go around like a regular person would. It seems like the aisle is wide enough.

BC 1/26/09
Yeah, making fun of burglary is so funny. How 'bout a rape joke next week?

Secret Asian Man 1/26/09
So Sam needs yearly Barium enemas? Did he have colon cancer at one point? And I thought tax stuff was supposed to be easy for those of the Asian persuasion. At any rate, taxes are better than almost any medical exam, especially ones that require you to drink stuff that is slightly radioactive.
New Poll this week. Be sure to vote cause I really want to know if I can has Cheeseburger.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Latest Poll Results

Do you like polls?
1 (16%)
1 (16%)
Of course, voting is very important
1 (16%)
I can't vote because I am a felon
3 (50%)

So according to my last poll half of all people that read this blog are felons. While disturbing, I don't mind, I'll take fans where ever I can get them. And since at least one person likes polls I will keep having them from time to time, although I can't guarantee what they will be about.

That is all.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Arugula? Really?

BC 1/20/09Hm, that seems to be a bird-like creature. Talking to a snake. Birds usually eat snakes. Birds also do not have antlers. It must also be a flightless bird or it would just fly away from the wolves.

BC receives a fail for today's strip.

Ferd'nand 1/20/09
Apparantly Ferd'nand shares some of his genome with snakes. That is the only explanation for him being charmed. Of course he could just be really stupid, but we'll never know since he doesn't talk.

Cheap Thrills 1/20/09Arugula?! Leeks!? It hasn't even been a full day and the Liberal Elite is taking over our dinner choices. Bill O'Reilly must be spinning in his grave.

Wait, Bill O'Reilly isn't dead...yet.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Post Title Here

The Meaning of Lila 1/15/09Are any of those thing prerequsites for buying a woman a drink? I've never needed to answer any of those questions. I've been asked if I had a concussion or if I was insane, but never if I was employed or secretly attracted to some guy. And what's the deal with that last question? If he had said yes, then what? Would the guys end up having gay sex or something? I guess I'm just out of the loop.

Jump Start 1/15/09
Hm...I may not be an expert, but I don't think there's any way to keep people from cracking jokes about colonoscopies. They're just inherantly funny to everyone except the people they're performed on.

That's Life 1/15/09
How did he get fourth? He should be #1 all the way. Just look at him, if you had a statue of Elvis right next to him there is no way you could tell the difference.

But seriously, why is this a joke? There are contests all the time where someone is in the top 5 when they shouldn't be, it's only because no one cared to enter the contest. I recently won something because there were two prizes and I was one of two people to enter the contest. That doesn't make the situation funny. God, why do so many comics suck at their job?

Committed 1/15/09
I have lived in Minnesota my entire life and I have never seen anyone dressed in this manner. Maybe those pussies in New England or the Pacific Northwest over-dress, but not us here in the land of 10,000 lakes. I didn't even wear a jacket today(it was around -20 before windchill) and I didn't die or anything.

My main point is that MN=awesome, New England=pussies.

Just making sure you understand.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Palin and Cows, are they one and the same?

State of the Union 1/12/09With all due respect, Sarah Palin brought most everything on her self. If she didn't want to be critized, she should have just stayed out of the public eye. She doesn't need to be doing TV interviews or making statements or any of that stuff. Also, if she wasn't so fucking stupid no one would really care.

Farcus 1/12/09Clearly trying and failing to channel Gary Larson. His cows were the best.

The Buckets 1/12/09It seems that he has a full head of hair now so I don't really understand this joke. Unless they mean that small patch between the top of his head and his ears, but I've never seen anyone go bald like that.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Beware of Penis

I'm adding a new feature to my roster; finding webcomics that are interesting and updating regularly. Hopefully I can find at least one a week, but it's tough to slog through the crap. I'll keep you up to date with the ones that I do find.

I must warn you about the first one because it contains the word penis and drawings of penises, though you can't really see anything gross.

The Happy Penis 1/9/09This is why I don't wear tampons. Because it's like sticking a cold, dead penis up your vagina.

Wow, I'm not sure who the creator is, but she clearly prefers pads to tampons.

Not much to say here, it's well thought out and the punch line makes you think. Overall this is pretty good. I recommend that you read it every week, as long as you don't mind penises.


A new look for the site. It seems that I cannot go more than a few weeks without tweaking the look. Oh well, it's not as if anyone cares, except my mom maybe. I think this design will stick, if only because I am lazy.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Play Bass like a Dog! Today!

The Humble Stumble 1/8/09Ah yes, the yippy or in this case, yappy, dog. I don't know why anyone would even consider having one of these types of dogs. Sure they may cute to look at, but the incessant noise they produce is enough to drive one mad.
Also, when I first read it, I thought they meant the snowman, I don't know why.

Strange Brew 1/8/09I have no trouble believing that someone wanting to play bass guitar would make this mistake. We all know that only idiots play bass, with few exceptions.
Also, that a huge fucking fish, but it's tail seems to be one with the, um, chair? couch? whatever the hell that thing is he's sitting on.

Ballard Street 1/8/09They should be proud. Instead of a yippy or yappy dog, they have one that kind of plays the...cello? It's too big to be a violin and too small to be a string bass, I guess it might be a viola cause I've never seen one of those.
Anyway, they should stop complaining and get that dog on David Letterman.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Behold the power of Dumb

Secret Asian Man 1/7/09Seeing as everyone everywhere is decended from proto-humans that originated in Africa, we're all African-Whatever. This fact makes this joke not so much of a joke and more an observation that was observed quite a while ago.


Moderately Confused 1/7/09Yes, in fact you will die to have an obituary. Unless you're a big asshole like P.T. Barnum and demand that they print your obituary before you die, but then they say mean things about you because we all know that sympathy is only for the dead.

This is too easy.

Herb & Jamaal 1/7/09Hm, the first two were obvious, but only to people with at least average intelligence. This one should be obvious to anyone that has ever been to an eye doctor, but if you don't get it, please allow me. THE HAVE MORE THAN ONE CHART, DUMBASS.

Well, at least the last one doesn't suck donkey balls.

Rip Haywire 1/7/09
This seems to be a relatively new comic, at least to Over it's first three days it has lampooned some of adventure strips most beloved crutches: Mark Trail's Right Fist O'Death, the fact that everything is a life and death situation, and boats and even dogs. Hopefully this takes off, we could use some comics that are at least relatively funny.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

God wants you to read

Girls & Sports 1/3/09Is that really something to brag about? I know that I don't brag abou....I mean I don't know anyone that brags about that. Yeah, that's what I mean.....

Red & Rover 1/3/09I don't get this comic. So the dog attracted all the snow in the sky? That makes no sense and it's not funny.

Secret Asian Man 1/3/09 I don't know why God would care whether or not your kid ate candy or not. Just doesn't seem like something the supposed creator of the universe would give a shit about.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Beginning of the Beginning

Well, it happened again, the calender ended and started. Unless you're Chinese, then you've got a few weeks to go. Hope you had a good New Year's, if you decided to celebrate it.

Frank & Earnest 1/1/09I can't say that I'm surprised at this joke but I would expect to see it in B.C. seeing as it is set in the past. At any rate it's not funny, Frank & Earnest receives a FAIL.

Reality Check 1/1/09So they live in a box yet they have a TV? And power? Although, they do seem to be stealing power from somewhere off panel. If they want to keep watching they'll need to save up for a converter box when they switch over in February.