Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year? More like Old Year.

Disclaimer: In this post I go on a rant over religion and human rights. If you are of weak mind and think religion is a good thing, you may want to skip this post, probably even this entire blog. I don't want anyone to be offended, except you crazies that believe in an all-powerful being that created us in seven days and now watches over our lives and tortures us. Long live the Spaghetti Monster!!

Farcus 12/31/08
Ok, so here's the thing: I am not a smoker and I think smoking is the dumbest thing anyone could do. Here's the other thing: I still think people that do smoke should be able to. Obviously I am in the minority here or maybe just the silent majority. Well, I'm not silent about it, smoking may not be a right guaranteed in the constitution, but it's not excluded either. Just because you thing that something is wrong and stupid doesn't mean you should be able to stop others from doing it. Take religion, I and a growing number of people, think that it is one of the dumbest things that humans have ever thought up. I'm not saying faith or spirituality are bad, they can be very good influences, but religion is as evil as anything humanity has ever conceived. It excludes those that don't believe in the same thing that you do, maybe even if they look different, or even if they practice their beliefs differently. You may ask for evidence of this, well it's called Northern Ireland. They have been killing each other there for a good long while now just because some of them are Catholic and some are Protestant. They're both Christian, but because they don't do things exactly the same they bomb each other's churches and kill each other in the street. So anyway, the point is this: just because some one is different or does things you don't like doesn't mean you can take away their humanity or the rights that go along with it.

All right, now that I'm done with my rant about religion or smoking or whatever it was, we can get back to humor or lack thereof.

Marmaduke 12/31/08
Hm, it's the 31st still right? Seems the Andersons have some trouble getting their holidays right. This should be tomorrow's comic, since Marmaduke is clearly hung over from whatever kind of alcohol a dog could get a hold of. Also, why isn't owner-man hung over? Usually even nerds get blitzed on New Year's Eve.

Monday, December 29, 2008

I'd like to talk to you about pilgrims

Well, now that my first posts at the DCR are done I can get back to a more normal rhythm here at my own blog. Not that anyone probably noticed except my mom.

Girls & Sports 12/29/08Would that even work? Why would a young drunk chick be attracted to a writer but not a wealthy retail executive? I think he should just skip it and a say he was a fireman until he hurt his back saving 2 babies and 6 cats from a burning warehouse. She'd have to believe that.

Secret Asian Man 12/29/08This got me to thinking, why do we only talk about pilgrims during the holidays? Surely they did stuff during the rest of the year, but we only celebrate one event. Also, why does no one in this comics have a nose?

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The end of the blog as we know it

Well, I got into The Daily Comics Review so the posting of this blog will be more erratic than it used to be, but since people read that one I'm going to take the opportunity that they have given me. Happy Christmas, unless you don't do Christmas, then Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Merry F#$king Christmas

State of the UnionI really don't care what the hell you say, it's Merry Christmas God-Damnit!

BirdbrainsWhy does a small child have access to hedge trimmers? Also, I would take more than those trimmers to cut every branch off an evergreen tree, unless it was really tiny.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Do you swallow?

Esophageal atresia: congenital absences of part of the esophagus

Sponge Baths for All

GarfieldThat Santa is actually pretty trim. And Garfield is doing pretty well really, over the last twenty years he doesn't seem to have gained a pound; that's more than almost any of us can say, although I have gained about 5 feet of height so I'm doing alright.

Gil ThorpI must be honest, I read This Week in Milford so this is not really original but I could not resist. What the hell is with the hand in the last panel? It looks like Andre the Giant's hand not some high school kid. If the artist has this much trouble with perspective, he should just avoid drawing hands.

The Fusco BrothersI must admit, when I first saw the name of this comic I thought it said "Fucso Brothers". That is the only reason I clicked on it, but it turns out it's actually pretty funny. Not in the ha-ha way, but it is better than your average newpaper comic.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

You can put those there?

Cardiac Tamponade - Acute compression of the heart caused by fluid accumulation in the pericardial cavity.

Post No.6-The end of numbers

What is the deal with the yellow in the second panel? Is it some sort of light? It doesn't seem to eminate from anywhere, so I'll have to assume the colorist wanted to get paid for more than just the characters
Herb and Jamaal

Oh no, does this signal the end of Herb and Jamaal as we know it? One can only hope.

As you can tell from the title of this post, I will no longer be lazy and simply number my posts. I would have done so earlier, but I suck at titles.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Post No. 5

Love is...I think it's great that they could only come up with two things that are good and cloud-related. I bet that last sign says "Welcome to Cloud City", that would be hilarious, much more than the actual comic.

This is actually something that has happened in my family. My parents didn't receive a letter wrongly, they sent one to someone wrongly. A while after they sent them out last year, I think, they got a letter from an old lady in Oregon named Lu Peterson, which isn't all that weird since that's the name of a great-aunt or something, thing was it wasn't the right Lu Peterson. It was pretty crazy cause the one we know had moved across town or something and the wrong one lived down the street from where the right one had lived. Anyway, in the end it got straightened out, just thought I would share that with the masses.

MarmadukeAnother comic that I have read for as long as I can remember. Unlike "The Lockhorns" this one has made me laugh now and then, but probably not for the reason intended by the Andersons. Anyway, onto this particular one. Why is their christmas tree right next to their front door? And don't tell me it isn't because if it is farther away then it must be at least 12 feet tall. And why do the owners always let the pack of dogs into their house? Are they that beholden to Marmaduke that they must allow all dogs into their house to piss on their christmas tree?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Word of the Day No.2

I may have forgotten to mention this, but sometimes it may be several words that make up the word of the day. Anyway, here's your next word:

Transurethral resection of the prostate gland: successive pieces of the prostate gland tissue are resected through the urethra.

Post No.4

One Big HappyOh to be a mildly developmentally challenged child.

Wow, they killed the poor tree then put skirt on it. I don't care if he says it's a kilt, it's a skirt. You see, Adam is secretly a cross-dresser and is acting out his frustrations on a tree for some reason.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Word of the day No.1

As many of you don't know(none of you most likely since no one is reading this)I am an HIT major. That's Health Information Technician. This means that I have to take terminology classes. So instead of just me being tortured by the insanity of medical nomenclature I will submit a word every day or so. Here's number one:

Tetany: a condition affecting nerves, causing muscle spasms as a result of low amounts of calcium in the blood due to a deficiency of the parathyroid hormone.

Post No.3

Wow, talk about a downer. Even though "Heart of the City" ususally isn't funny, it ususally isn't depressing either. It's a shame that the public officials can't be bothered by Kate and she has to ask Santa to get him back.

No wonder the economy is so bad, they were giving credit to ants. I'm no economist, but I'm pretty sure that ants don't get paid to invade your house and get in your sugar bowl.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Post No.2

The Lockhorns is a comic that I have read for nearly as long as I have been able to read, about 19 years. In all that time I don't believe that I have ever laughed at it. Not even when I was a small child, which is very sad for the Lockhorns. Anyway, on to this particular one.

If the top layer is from the pre-Cambrian period, then how old is the rest of it? This also begs the question of how old their fridge is. I realize that it's supposed to be a jab at Loretta's cooking, but they couldn't come up with a better joke like: well this looks like something the dog vomited. Not great, but better than what they came up with.

Well that concludes this, the first day of the rest of this blog. I think I shall rant about one or so comics per day or whatever strikes my fancy for the day.

Post No.1

This here is the first post of this here blog. Not sure what I'll be talking about, but I'm sure that it will be as pointless as the rest of the blogs out there. Hopefully I can get a few people to like what I say. Mostly I'm doing this to get on a slightly popular blog called The Daily Comics Review. Not sure why they needed an audition since until the last week "Daily" meant "Weekly" at best. I volunteer out of the goodness of my heart, and they want to know what my writing style will be. You think they would just like someone to post on their blog for them instead of it sitting for days at a time. Anyways, since they make fun of comics, I figure I should do the same. The next post should include some sort of mockery involving comics.