Sleep Is Good For Your Mind

Friday morning post! I forgot to sleep last night so you get an early morning post. I hope you appreciate the sacrifices I make for you.

Although the not sleeping wasn't really a sacrifice for you, it was more a sacrifice for school and it's related work. Anyway, it's Friday, so go crazy!



The Barn 10/9/09

That's not how x-rays work. If the writer had really wanted to go this way he should have had and endoscopy done on the sheep.

You do know what an endoscopy is right?



Luann 10/9/09

At last Elwood is caught in his lie. Now we can finally get this fucking storyline over with and move on to the next utterly inane storyline.

I hope it involves fretting over boys!



It's All About You 10/9/09

We've moved from getting philosophical statements from philosophers to authors to musicians to movies to television shows and the final nail in the coffin: advertisements. It's only a matter of time before the world collapses and is taken over by hyper-evolved snakes.

Also, AT&T sucks. Or so I hear.



Ballard Street 10/9/09

Looks like it was pretty productive to me. Moats are always useful. I'm not sure about the zig-zag design though. And he has to make it wider in order to be effective. But if it only took an hour and a half to get this far, he should be done in few days at most.

I Am Stupid

Now that we got that 100th post out of the way, we can get back to bashing comics.

EDIT: I just realized, some 8 hours after writing today's post, that I forgot a post title. It has been added and I think it is appropriate.

The Argyle Sweater 4/30/09
Noah's Ark jokes have been old for thousands of years. If you believe that sort of thing.



La Cucaracha 4/30/09
Is there a bottled water company out there that advertises its water as 'fat-free'? That seems like it's implying that some company out there actually is making bottled water with fat in it.


And yes, I stole that joke from Lewis Black.



Joe Vanilla 4/30/09

"And try to keep from melting into the chair."



F Minus 4/30/09

It's a common mistake to confuse Boot Camp with Boot Fetish Camp. One is horrible beyond description and the other one involves the military.



The Barn 4/30/09
This was the best you could come up with? You've got a talking sheep answering the phone at a Vet Clinic and the best joke you could scrounge up was a wrong number? You couldn't come up with something about confusing veteran and veterinarians? That would have been much funnier.



Reality Check 4/30/09
It's almost like you're standing in a library full of people that don't talk.

Are mimes supposed to keep their miming to a minimum when they're in the library?



9 Chickweed Lane 4/30/09
Excuse me for a moment.

*hurl*



The Dinette Set 4/30/09
I don't understand what the punchline of this panel is. Something to do with AIG employees being really rich? Because that's a false assumption, most of the people working at AIG aren't any more wealthy than the average person.

The reason I hate The Dinette Set: It tries to do too many things and sucks at all of them.



Cow & Boy 4/30/09
What's this? Continuity in a non-Soap comic strip? Blasphemy! And it's from a month ago! And it's still funny!

The Biggest Post in the World

A Super-Hugely Gigantic Post for you today. Enjoy.


Speed Bump 3/30/09
Another crappy wordplay. Comic strips would be lost without them, as seen here.




The Barn 3/30/09
Now here's a wordplay I can get behind.

Side note: any hockey franchise would love to have a cow on its team. Imagine how much damage a cow could dish out on the ice. Sweetness.



Secret Asian Man 3/30/09
Sadly this is how almost everyone reacts when asked to help with volunteer work. Except all those awesome people that went to help fill sandbags in Fargo last week. Those people are cool.



Nancy 3/30/09
This is not a question for a horrible comic strip. It's not even a question for a good comic strip. This is a question for those among us that have way to much f***ing time and can afford to waste it debating nothing with no one.



Monty 3/30/09
Time travel should never be used for anything, ever. So this guy went back and is thought to be Lincoln's assassin. What happened to Booth? Time travel can never work because there is no way to predict all the variables of what will change simply because there is one more person in that time period than there should be.

Side note: Don't ruminate on time travel for more than a few minutes or you will bleed from the nose.


Luann 3/30/09
Luann - the soft-core porn of the comics page.


Grand Avenue 3/30/09
Why is there always this kid in class? It doesn't even matter what grade level you're talking about, there is always an overachiever that does way more than needed.

If you can't tell, I'm not one of those people. Although I possess an extremely high IQ, I hate to do more than is required. This is why I have yet to complete one semester of community college even though I have attempted it three times.

Two more months and I'll be done with a whole, entire year, so I'm nearly there.


Free Range 3/30/09
Just off panel there is a pedophilic serial killer.

Clearly they did not think this joke through.



Flight Deck 3/30/09
Is that what widows really talk about? And how f***ed in the head do you have to be to still blame stuff on your husband 8 years after he dies?

This panel just supports the stereotype that married women are the bitchiest things in the world.

I do not think that, just in case you were wondering.



Agnes 3/30/09
In a related story, I've been pre-approved for a loan, 13 credit cards, and I may have won $1 million.

Did that make you laugh? It shouldn't, this joke is getting pretty old.


Ten, count'em, ten comics today. I hope you're happy now because this big a post doesn't come around very often.

Funny Post Title Goes Here

Super-duper post today to make up for the lack of one yesterday.

And unless I get some votes other than doing every comic every day, I may have to change the poll. Come on guys, there is no way to do that many comics in one day.

But I digress, here is what we have today:


Rudy Park 3/20/09
I think that AIG has cost the government, which means the American people, way more than Lehman Brothers ever could have. We've given mulitple multi-billion dollar loans to AIG and the government now owns about 80% of the company. Lehman Brothers may have screwed quite a few people, but not as many as AIG.

Did you know that AIG stands for American International Group? What the hell does that even mean? And they are, probably, going to change the name once they get back to being a profitable company because of all the negative things that AIG conjures in the imagination. Do people really fall for that? Do people think that Phillip Morris is a good company since they changed their name to Altria? Feel free to leave thoughts in the comments.



Girls & Sports 3/20/09
That's what I call a win-win scenario. She gets to go to a fancy restuarant and he gets to watch basketball for 90 minutes.

I'm not sure why anyone would want to watch basketball for 90 minutes, but I guess that's a personal choice.



Betty 3/20/09
Why is that troubling? That guy is contributing to society way more than any of us are. He is getting people interested in physiology and biology. All we do is sit in our chairs and write mean things about comic strips. I'm not saying being mean to comic strips isn't fun, it just doesn't contribute to society in a meaningful way.



The Barn 3/20/09
Actually, the Earth will be in alignment with the center of the galaxy, or something like that. Somehow the Mayans knew that it would happen on that date 3000 years ago, or whenever they made the calender.

And is clover an important resource or something? Or is it just that the disappearance of clover would be devasating to a sheep?



Herb & Jamaal 3/20/09
Yes, Herb & Jamaal, no one really reads the nutritional facts. My question is this: why is he eating chips? Has he run out of money and can't afford anything else anymore? That's my hope.



Cow & Boy 3/20/09
Without all the Irish stuff a leprechaun is just a midget.

Or dwarf, whatever your preference is.


Natural Selection 3/20/09
"Dehydrated Water, it's got that concentrated water flavor!"

But seriously, people said that bottled water would never catch on and look how popular it is. Bottled water is so popular that it has single-handedly advanced the destruction of the planet by at least 3000 years. Come on people, just get the water from your sink, it's the same mother-fucking stuff.

Make Tonight a HuManwich Night

Just in case you didn't read about it already(and most of you didn't) there is a new poll, no really, it's over the the right of your screen, towards the top, it's about how much content you want to see, so I suggest that you vote on it, or I'll just start doing whatever the hell I want, and nobody wants that.

Did you realize that the last paragraph was a single sentence? It probably shouldn't be, but I wanted to see how long I could keep it going. Well, anyway, here's the day in comics:


The Barn 3/18/09
Yeah, chicks dig cows too. But not sheep, chicks hate sheep.



Rubes 3/18/09

Would this be any funnier if it were a human standing there and the last option was HuManwiches? I think it would, although, I am a cannibal.

F-Minus 3/18/09

The real trick is how he managed to tie himself in a way that he can't untie himself. I would pay more to see that than I would to see someone untie themselves.

Ferd'nand 3/18/09

I must say that I think it would be really hard to write a strip everyday without using words. Having said that, what the hell is going on? How is this a joke? And why is Ferd'nand trying to farm in his back yard?

The Buckets 3/18/09

Do young children really care about Star Wars anymore? I think that's more of a phenomenon for young-adults.

I guess Star Wars is still getting exposure through the Cartoon Network show. Did you know that they played it during Adult Swim last weekend?



B.C. 3/18/09

The only joke I see in the 4 panels presented to me is that the bird's callsign is Dookie 1. Everything else is just filler to me.

Congrats for making it all the way through today's post. You win the prize of satisfaction, unless you hated everything I said. Then you are just weird, why did you read it all if you hated it?