The Silent Hat Stangler

Enjoy these fresh picked comic strips and the even fresher comments that go with them.

Unless you have something better to do.

And don't forget to let me know if you want an invite to my Marmaduke blog.

Ferd'nand 1/12/10

Ferd'nand wears his hat to bed? That just adds a whole new level of insanity to his personality. So far we have: is a mute, has a terrible mustache, is constantly changing jobs, and wears hat at all times.

I think it's safe to say that Ferd'nand could be the next major serial killer in the United States.

Herb and Jamaal 1/12/10

What is happening in the last panel? It looks like Herb is just saying help to nobody. I suppose it's possible that he's using the voice dialing function on his phone, but that would just be stupid, and that would be new ground for Herb and Jamaal.

Except for the stupid part.

Flight Deck 1/12/10

Nothing about this makes any sense.

Also, it's just called The Newshour now, Jim Lehrer took his name off it. He's still the anchor, he just isn't in the title anymore, don't ask me why.



The Dinette Set 1/12/10

This is the least cluttered The Dinette Set I have ever seen. It still isn't funny, but at least I can tell what is happening.

Got That Not-So-Fresh Feeling?

Thursday madness abounds! From this day forth, I announce a renewed committment to the BOCAOS.

What that means in non-crazy talk is that I'll be doing at least 2 comic related post a week with a few Word of the Day's spread around.




The Dinette Set 10/1/09
Nobody would ever wear a Summer's Eve shirt. People don't even like to buy Summer's Eve products. Probably because the one their most known for is one of the most embarrassing things you could ever buy.

And nobody involved in this strip, either as a creator or a character, should be allowed to even offhandedly mention MENSA.



Frazz 10/1/09

This kid is going to be either a pundit on Fox or MSNBC or a major Senator or maybe even the President of the United States. He's only in Elementary school and already has a firm grasp on answering questions with questions concept.

What's more is that he's good at it. Why are they called shirt tails if their in the front?

I Am Stupid

Now that we got that 100th post out of the way, we can get back to bashing comics.

EDIT: I just realized, some 8 hours after writing today's post, that I forgot a post title. It has been added and I think it is appropriate.

The Argyle Sweater 4/30/09
Noah's Ark jokes have been old for thousands of years. If you believe that sort of thing.



La Cucaracha 4/30/09
Is there a bottled water company out there that advertises its water as 'fat-free'? That seems like it's implying that some company out there actually is making bottled water with fat in it.


And yes, I stole that joke from Lewis Black.



Joe Vanilla 4/30/09

"And try to keep from melting into the chair."



F Minus 4/30/09

It's a common mistake to confuse Boot Camp with Boot Fetish Camp. One is horrible beyond description and the other one involves the military.



The Barn 4/30/09
This was the best you could come up with? You've got a talking sheep answering the phone at a Vet Clinic and the best joke you could scrounge up was a wrong number? You couldn't come up with something about confusing veteran and veterinarians? That would have been much funnier.



Reality Check 4/30/09
It's almost like you're standing in a library full of people that don't talk.

Are mimes supposed to keep their miming to a minimum when they're in the library?



9 Chickweed Lane 4/30/09
Excuse me for a moment.

*hurl*



The Dinette Set 4/30/09
I don't understand what the punchline of this panel is. Something to do with AIG employees being really rich? Because that's a false assumption, most of the people working at AIG aren't any more wealthy than the average person.

The reason I hate The Dinette Set: It tries to do too many things and sucks at all of them.



Cow & Boy 4/30/09
What's this? Continuity in a non-Soap comic strip? Blasphemy! And it's from a month ago! And it's still funny!

A Return to Partial Sanity

Sorry about yesterday, but wow. After seeing that Gil Thorp, I just couldn't concentrate on anything else which sucks because I had some good comics to mock. So, instead of discarding all of them, I've included a couple from yesterday and a couple from today. Combined, they are not as insane as yesterday's Gil Thorp.


Nancy 4/8/09
Sign of spring: the month switched from March to April.

Sign of spring: the temperature is consistently over freezing.

Sign of spring: people no longer have to read Nancy because they can go outside.


Does Anaheim still have the Rally Monkey?



The Dinette Set 4/8/09

This panel features a continuation of one of the worst jokes in recent memory. What's so funny about movies being made into ice shows? Is it that they would never work as ice shows? Because that's pretty lame.

Also, the joke about hemorrhoids is pretty f*cking stupid. If you've ever had a hemorroid, you know that it is not a laughing matter.

F Minus 4/9/09

My pieces point to him trying to masturbate while floating on a couch. Where do your pieces point?

Luann 4/9/09

So that's what the kids call it nowadays? They must be going to have anal sex.

USPS Is Better Than UPS Because They Have An Extra Letter

Sorry about yesterday, but I was overloaded. I still have a lot on my plate, but I have some extra time so it all works out. Here's an extra-large update for you.


B.C. 3/24/09 Is "POOP" supposed to be a sound effect? Because all I'm getting is that the bird took a crap between the panels.

Flo & Friends 3/24/09 Haha, another joke about old people and how they have bad memories. Hahaha. Stop, stop, you're killing me with your originality.

Rudy Park 3/24/09

How does this relate to the recession? People have been failing to be healthy for decades, not just in the last year.

Why do comic strips even try to be up-to-date.

Pickles 3/24/09

Oh, my.

Why? Why? That's all I want to know. WHY!!??

Momma 3/24/09

Yes, all of us men are sociopaths that want to capture women to be our personal slaves.

What would comic strips do if stereotypes didn't exist? I think they would cease to be and we could all get on with our lives.

Herb & Jamaal 3/24/09

Does that mean she thinks he is stupid? There are much better and simpler ways to insult someone, especially when you aren't even talking out loud. You can think anything to yourself and no one will ever know, so why use some kind of insane metaphor.

I have never heard anyone say that in reference to anything, ever. Not even in reference to an actual path.

The Dinette Set 3/24/09

Fuck you, Dinette Set. Fuck you. My dad was a postal carrier and was on time every motherfucking day. Even the days when it snowed 6 feet in an hour, you could count on the mail being delivered. So fuck you for being ignorant assholes.

Sorry about all that, but I have strong feelings when you insult my family, even if it's not directly or intentionally.

And We're Back

Sorry about the layoff, I was too lazy over the last week to do anything. But, we are back in business now. And away we go.

Working It Out 3/16/09

Why are they in a RAB? What the hell is a RAB?

Oh, wait. Is it supposed to be BAR? That would make more sense.

What kind of crazy BAR has no tables?

Heathcliff 3/16/09Why is Heathcliff sitting on the Old Man's dick? That's a whole new level of sickness.

Girls & Sports 3/16/09

If you need Viagra and you're under the age of 60, then you don't really need Viagra.

And it's not performance-enhancing if you have a legitimate medical condition.

The Dinette Set 3/16/09

What are JARTS? I have no idea what's going on in the rest of the panel, but in the lower right corner, there is a drawer labeled "JARTS". Does anyone know what that could possibly be?

Brevity 3/16/09

What are they voting for? That could have tremendous influence over whose vote is needed. And not all insects would have the same views, seeing as how some of them are carnivorous and some are herbivorous. I highly doubt that Bulldog Ants have the same political affiliation as Butterflies.

Got a Sandy Vag? Ride the Manatee!

The Dinette Set 2/9/09

Wow, I'm not even going to talk about the main punchline.

What the hell is a manatee ride? I know there are tons of ways to talk about sex without saying the word sex, but manatee ride? That doesn't sound pleasant at all.

Off the Mark 2/9/09

Why orange? Why not the other words that don't rhyme with anything? I could really use a rhyme for purple. It would complete my scheme to dominate the world. Bwhahaha!!

Marmaduke 2/9/09

Why does owner-lady look like she wants Marmaduke to jump on her? I mean, come on. Owner-man is right there. Unless the only way he can get off anymore is to watch his wife get pounded by the dog.

Wow, the Andersons are some sick bastards.

Secret Asian Man 2/9/09

Can I just say that I hate any show that purports to be reality when it clearly is not. Surviorman is a perfect example. This guy goes out in the wilderness with only his "wits" and survives on the land. The problem? There are obviously guys there filming and doing sound, meaning he is not alone and is not really in any danger of dying of exposure. And this shit is on the Discovery Channel. Argh!

Reality Check 2/9/09

I have nothing bad to say about this one. Just made me laugh and laugh.




That is all.