Thursday, January 28, 2010

Carrots and Peas

If you are interested, you should go visit Carafe. It's a hot, new webcomic that is willing to put up almost anyone's strips. Even mine! Which will be featured next Tuesday.

Arlo & Janis 1/28/10
Arlo has finally snapped and murdered the cat. He's trying to disguise it by putting it in a stew, but the fatal flaw in his plan was that blood does not look similar to tomato sauce. Now he'll be charged with animal cruelty and sentenced to whatever the sentence is for animal cruelty in his city, county, or state, whichever has jurisdiction in these types of matters.

Grand Avenue 1/28/10
grand avenue
I must admit that I laughed at this, but then again, I have the mind of a child.

Ballard Street 1/28/10
ballard street
Certainly the intent is to make us think that Gordon is a homosexual, but I think he just likes to dance in the park where strangers can watch him. I think it gets him sexually excited and that afterwards he goes home to his lover, who is of the opposite sex, and has passionate sex until they are both exhausted.

Pickles 1/28/10
I don't not disagree that this is confusing, but the writer surely didn't think that anyone wouldn't care.

I do think that the old guy is pretty smart for playing the confusion card on his wife to get her to go away.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Well-Rounded Post

It's so cold and windy here today that the school canceled all classes for the first time in over 10 years. So even if you don't enjoy the post today you can enjoy the fact that it probably doesn't suck as much where you live as it does where I live.

Another game review should be up by the end of Saturday. So look for that if you enjoy that kind of thing.

The Meaning of Lila 1/25/10
the meaning of lila
There isn't a more realistic character in a comic strip that I am aware of. Lila is one of my favorite strips when it's being real and one of my most hated when it tries to be comic-y. Keep it real John and everything will be fine.

Pickles 1/25/10
That-old-guy-who's-name-I-forget is awesome. He doesn't care about the wrath of his wife anymore, he just wants his grandson to learn that women should be ignored as much as possible and that in the future might be able to be silenced with but a thought.

Lola 1/25/10
If Lola wasn't at risk for diabetes before, she will be if she finishes that breakfast. All she needs is a glass of chocolate milk to top everything off.

Also, I like how her son (?) just sits there, offering no advice on what a well-balanced breakfast would actually consist of. It's almost as if he wants Lola to go into a diabetic coma. I can't really blame him, Lola is pretty mean sometimes.

It's All About You 1/25/10
it's all about you
I know that I come off as an asshole most of the time because I simply whine and complain about comic strips, so I'm going to give constructive criticism to this strip.

First, if really want to use this joke I suggest switching where he characters are sitting. It gives a better flow to the first panel if the "PFF!" is on the right side and the eye doesn't need to wander back over the first speech balloon to get the the second panel.

Second, use a better joke.

Alright, that wasn't all constructive, but I tried.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Hot and Cold

Arlo & Janis 1/21/10
arlo & janis
Or where I live: October: 10 inches of snow. November: 40 degrees everyday. December: -20 windchills and snowstorms every other day. January: 30 degrees everyday.

It's fun to live in the upper Midwest, you never know what the hell is going to happen next.

Red and Rover 1/21/10
red and rover
If you imagine panel 3 with out the word balloon it's just creepy.

Dog Eat Doug 1/21/10
dog eat doug
In the other direction we have this word from the Ojibwe language:

miin-aan baash kimini-sij-i-gan bitooyin sij-i-gan-i bukwayszhiigan

That means blueberry pie.

Strange Brew 1/21/10
strange brew
That is one pissed off rooster. Sucks to be that guy.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Larger Than Average

In order to makeup for not doing much of anything for awhile today's post is larger than usual.

In terms of comics I mean, not necessarily in terms of my contribution. Not that my contribution is much of anything most of the time anyway.

[Author's Note: I was hit with a trojan attack when this post was in it's formative stages and it took me quite some time to clean everything up. During that time I may have forgotten what I was going to say for some of the comics so what you read here might not be as funny as what I had originally been going to put.]

Adam@Home 1/19/10
I can't remember what I was going to say about this one. I think it had something to do with sex.

Don't blame me, blame internet assholes that design assholish programs to try to steal information. They may not have gotten any money, but they did manage to steal what I was thinking about, and in a way that is more damaging.

Not really, the money would have sucked way more.

Also, I think this is actually more humorous than what I was going to put in the first place.

Fred Basset 1/19/10
fred basset
If I was Fred's owner, I would feed him all the time. The worst kind of dog food I could get too. Why? Because it's time for Fred Basset to die. He isn't funny and he has nothing useful to say about anything. Usually animals are put down when they get old and decrepit, why has Fred been kept alive and forced to endure the this horrible state of existence?

Neurotica 1/19/10
Hellta is clearly supposed to be Delta. I have never flown Delta, but I do hate them. I hate them because they bought one of my home state's most visible companies: Northwest Airlines. Not that it really matters to me, but I do tend to have pride in where I come from, so when you mess with Minnesota you mess with me.

Not that I can do anything, but I can always dream that my actions will affect multi-billion dollar corporations.

Did you know that the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport is consistently one of the 30 busiest airports in the world?

Not in the U.S. In the world. It generally serves about 35 million passengers a year. Suck on that Leonard da Vinci-Fiumicino Airport.

The Fusco Brothers 1/19/10
the fusco brothers
.buıʎouuɐ ʎ11ɐǝɹ uoıʇuǝɯ oʇ ʇou

.sʇo1d ǝuoz ʇɥbı1ıʍʇ 1ɐǝɹ oʇ pǝɹɐdɯoɔ pǝpɹɐʇǝɹ ʎʇʇǝɹd sı uʍop-ǝpısdn buıǝq ǝbɐnbuɐ1 .buıuǝddɐɥ ǝq p1noʍ sʇnu ǝs1ǝ buıɥʇǝɯos ɹo ʎzɐɹɔ buıɥʇǝɯos buıop ǝq p1noʍ suǝı1ɐ ɹo pǝɯɹoɟǝp ǝq p1noʍ ssǝɹʇıɐʍ ǝɥʇ ɹo ǝ1doǝd ǝq p1noʍ pooɟ ǝɥʇ ǝuoz ʇɥbı1ıʍʇ ǝɥʇ uı ǝɔɐ1d buıʞɐʇ ʎ11ɐǝɹ ǝɹǝʍ ɹǝuuıp sıɥʇ ɟı

If you actually read that, go get a cookie, you deserve it.

Pluggers 1/19/10
A 50 inch waist? Holy crap! You shouldn't have a 50 inch waist unless you're 6'9'' or somewhere around there or perhaps you wish to die as soon as possible but without poison or guns.

I only have a 44 or 46 inch waist and I tend to hover around 300 pounds. There is little excuse for being fatter than me. Seriously, ask my friends, they will tell you.

Chuckle Bros, Ziggy, Speed Bump 1/19/10
chuckle bros
speed bump
(Frustrated comic strip snarker leaves keyboard to place head under the nearest automobile wheel)

I could only stay outside for a couple of minutes, it's too hot out there. It's over 20 degrees out there, it must be some kind of demonic heat wave.

Luckily the automobile didn't move so my head was not crushed. But after seeing these 3 again, I kind of wish it had been.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Silent Hat Stangler

Enjoy these fresh picked comic strips and the even fresher comments that go with them.

Unless you have something better to do.

And don't forget to let me know if you want an invite to my Marmaduke blog.

Ferd'nand 1/12/10
Ferd'nand wears his hat to bed? That just adds a whole new level of insanity to his personality. So far we have: is a mute, has a terrible mustache, is constantly changing jobs, and wears hat at all times.

I think it's safe to say that Ferd'nand could be the next major serial killer in the United States.

Herb and Jamaal 1/12/10
herb and jamaal
What is happening in the last panel? It looks like Herb is just saying help to nobody. I suppose it's possible that he's using the voice dialing function on his phone, but that would just be stupid, and that would be new ground for Herb and Jamaal.

Except for the stupid part.

Flight Deck 1/12/10
flight deck
Nothing about this makes any sense.

Also, it's just called The Newshour now, Jim Lehrer took his name off it. He's still the anchor, he just isn't in the title anymore, don't ask me why.

The Dinette Set 1/12/10
the dinnete set
This is the least cluttered The Dinette Set I have ever seen. It still isn't funny, but at least I can tell what is happening.

Monday, January 11, 2010

2 Comics and an Announcement

Sorry for being away for so long, but things kind of sucked around here. But now that school has started again I think that I can get back in the habit of regular posting both here and at the DCR.

And for those of you that can remember back when I did a little blog called xy Explains Marmaduke for the Masses and enjoyed it, I have a special announcement:

Starting today I will be restarting that blog as an invitation only site. If you would like to be on the list, send me your email address or leave it in a comment or let me know some other way. The reason that it will be by invitation only is to prevent what happened the last May. I don't need that again.

Agnes 1/11/10
I thought Agnes was supposed to be at least kind of smart. Even if she's only slightly above average she should know what SCUBA means.

Also, you generally don't have pants on when SCUBA diving. You either have a swimsuit or a wet suit on. I've even seen it done naked, but I have never seen anyone wearing pants.

Also also, I do happen to know exactly what SCUBA means but I don't want to tell you because I think you should figure it out for yourself.

Betty 1/11/10
It's a terrible day when I agree with something in a Betty strip.

At least it's almost topical. If this had come out a month or two ago it would have been perfect timing, but since I haven't heard that song on the radio for quite some time, at least not with the regularity that I once did, this strip doesn't get points for timeliness.