I Don't Believe It

You only get one today. And it's not that good.


Marmaduke 9/21/09Because there is absolutely no way that he could possibly get out of bed. Marmaduke may be an over-sized dog, but he doesn't weigh that much. Unless Owner-Man is incredibly weak.

You Don't Need Testicles or Ovaries

Here's that extra post I promised you. And it's at a reasonable time for my North American audience. Not so much for other parts of the world, but since they don't visit much it's their own damn fault.


Flight Deck 9/17/09There is no comparison. Curtis Jackson may be a boiling pot of testosterone fueled stupid, but he isn't a complete asshole all the time for no reason, as Kanye is.

Curtis makes better music too. I'd rather listen to gangsta rap than anything that Kanye has ever touched.



Grand Avenue 9/17/09
Grand Avenue has spent all week having it's characters declaring why a dog's life is great followed by the dog's rebuttals. Baths, food, fur, they've all been touched on. And it hasn't been funny in the least. Probably because many dogs live better lives than quite a few humans. They're well fed, have consistent shelter, and usually have a loving family to go along with those things.

Sure, we cut off their testicles and ovaries but it's not like they really need them. How many people starving in Africa or Asia or even in the US do you think would trade a vasectomy or even an orchidectomy (see Word of the Day below) for a lifetime of food and shelter and love?



The Meaning of Lila 9/17/09
I probably should just stay out of this one. As a male, almost anything I could say would get me in trouble.

I will say this: what the hell? Is Lila a time-traveling transplant from the 1950's?



Herb & Jamaal 9/17/09
That would mean...

Oh.

Oh, no.

No, no, no......NO!!!

Like What They Do For Dogs

Orchidectomy - excision(removal) of the testicle(s).

See also, orchiectomy because it wasn't good enough that we (humans that speak English) have only one word for something, oh no, we needed two that are almost the same to prove how inventive we are.





May I remind you that these come from my head without references and that you can challenge me if you like? Simply leave a comment and I'll do my best to define your challenge word without help. I'll even let you know if you win. Or course the only prize would be my pride.

And maybe something else.

More or Less

This was meant to be a post for Wednesday but I suck at time management so here it is now. I'll try to do another post today to make up for my incompetence.

The Knight Life 9/16/09That...is not a bad idea actually.

Did you know that the NFL draft encompasses an entire weekend and gets way better ratings that it rightfully should? Why not do something like that to infuse some energy into academics.

Oh wait. I forgot that people don't like to learn. That'll make it kind of tough to foster passion for teachers.



On a Claire Day 9/16/09
I bet there are plenty of Englishmen and/or women that would disagree. And you don't want to piss off the English or they'll write you a nasty letter.

And if it were 200 years ago they would invade your country and take over all leaderships positions and let you starve to death while they laughed at how uncivilized you were.

High Fashion

So comics.com is finally working again. I don't know what that was about but here's some comics to get you through the day. There's some more at DCR which has a link on the sidebar to the right.

Arlo & Janis 8/9/09Funny? No, but it wasn't meant to be.

Heartwarming? Not really because nobody reads Arlo & Janis for the marriage advice.



Girls & Sports 8/9/09
Well, how many clothes are we talking about here? Because sometimes it can take a lot of effort to get your jeans off. Like when you spent 2 hours stuffing your fat self into them.

Not that I would know anything about that. . .

Also, what you do after you take your clothes off can burn quite a few calories. If you do it right.



Graffiti 9/8/09
No, no they don't. They look like women who were born with an aesthetically pleasing skin, muscle tone, and bone structure.

If model really were scaffolding for real women that would mean that there's a fashion model inside every women. And that would be kind of creepy. Because it's not a metaphorical model, it's a literal model inside someone else.

A Poor Excuse

You'd have gotten some more comics but comic.com has decided to suck and that's where most of the sucky comics are. Sorry.

The Spark Returns

I've been suffering from a lack of inspiration for the last several weeks. Until, that is, I saw this panel today. Enjoy my most inspired writing in quite some time.


Brevity 9/4/09
There are several explanations for what is going on.

1. The man could actually own more invisible shirts than anyone else in the world. But since invisible shirts don't exist, that one's out.

2. The Man could be suffering from a serious mental illness. The kind that you don't get better from. The kind that means you need to be monitered at all times. If he thinks all those hangers have shirts on them, what's to keep him from thinking that the only way he can be happy is to strangle children and burn the bodies in his basement? Or that his feces are sacred and he needs to save them in individual containers in a freezer?

3. The man could be suffering from a milder mental illness and simply hasn't taken his medcation for some time. His case worker is clearly not doing him any good as she is fulfilling his fantasy of owning the most invisible shirts.

4. The man could be extremely gullible and/or stupid (they're kind of the same thing). He probably went to a shop in a shady part of town and was told that he could own the largest collection of invisible shirts in the world for only $499.95 and being gullible and/or stupid payed the money and actually believes that he's wearing invisible shirts.

The really sad part is that no one tells him that he's not wearing a shirt, kind of like that tale about the emporer. Someday a little kid is going to laugh at his flabby chest and ask him why he's not wearing a shirt and the man will be like "But I am wearing a shirt, it's just invisible!" and the kid will be like "There's no such thing as invisible clothes stupid. And why would you want invisible clothes anyway? That defeats the whole point of wearing clothes." And then the man would cry.

The end.

Slimy Stuff

Greetings on this fine Thursday. You have been graced with commentary on comic strips. Enjoy this snippet of what it would be like if I didn't have other things to do.

Also, you may have noticed that I changed the color scheme. Look for more changes as I slowly lose my mind.


Nest Head 9/3/09
I think that just means that you're going to die early. And that doesn't look good on a resume.



Herb & Jamaal 9/3/09
Herb & Jamaal having been crossing all kinds of lines this week. Religion, race, and now cross-dressing. What makes this really astounding is that Herb & Jamaal is still really boring.



Betty 9/3/09
This has been going on all week and he just now noticed the ball is covered in spit? At least I'm hoping it's spit. 'Slimy stuff' could be almost anything, most of the not good.

Why doesn't he just keep the ball? He's been threatening it for a couple of days so why not? Then he could relax and soak in the sun. Nothing makes you look sexier than melanoma.

I Left My Heart...

Takotsubo Syndrome - A sudden weaking of the heart. Usually triggered by stress or other emotional disturbance. Also known as 'Broken-Heart Syndrome'. Named for a Japanese pot used to catch octopi.





I admit that I had to look that one up.

Not Like An Airplane

For now the only posts I will have time to do are Word of the Day. Maybe I can get one other post a week, but it will be contigent on school. With luck I will soon have reduced responsibilities at DCR so I can pursue other plans.


Midsagittal Plane - An imaginary line separating the body into equal left and right portions.







Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define it without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.


Oh, and there is probably a poll to your right. You should consider voting on it.

More Unnecessary Words

You clamored for it and here it is:


Emesis - vomiting.






Is there a medical word you would like to know the definition of? Leave a comment and try to stump me. I promise I'll try to define it without references and I'll let you know if I couldn't do it.

MTS

Ginger Meggs 8/25/09

This comic sucks but I do enjoy how his mouth has turned into a sphincter. It made me smile.

Bob the Squirrel 8/25/09

Umm...no. No that's not how frosting works.

Brenda Starr 8/25/09

It seems that some writers like to bold things for no reason. This is known as Mark Trail Syndrome and is currently incurable.

If you read just the bold, you actually get a good idea of the story without all those other words.

"Want orange," "First" "MMM papers?"

Isn't that funnier and more interesting than all the other crap?

Oh no! I think I may have caught MTS!

Todd is an idiot

Another small installment of comics to tide you over until I can make a full return.


Ferd'nand 8/14/09The vengeful Ferd'nand has made sure all the neighborhood children are being punished for his ill-fated living room volleyball league while he puts in his new window.

The funniness is not making itself known to me in this strip.



Ballard Street 8/14/09
How would the dog manage to do that unless Todd has also being peeing on bushes?

Also, is it really necessary to draw the stream of dog urine? I think we could have gotten the idea without it.

Something Gross This Way Comes

The latest poll yielded no usable results. I guess that I'll just have to come up with a new poll later that will get more votes.

If you are squeamish, don't view the first comic.



Cleats 8/10/09That is truly disgusting. Whales should never be allowed to ejaculate onto children.



Ziggy 8/10/09
Oh Ziggy, will you ever be current? It's like you're not even trying.

You Have No Friends

If you've been paying attention to the Daily Comics Review, then you already know my hatred of Frog Applause. Someday I hope that I will have more than just a few comics here.

Also, new poll! It's the first one in quite a long time. I hope you vote.

Frog Applause 8/4/09

I don't like you,

but I hate you.

I really hate you.

You are the dumbest comic strip and will never have any friends.

At Last I Have Returned

Holy crap! A post! That's right, you aren't hallucinating, this is a real post at BOCAOS. I hope to resume part-time for a while and transition to full time within the next two months. That includes the return of The Word of the Day!


It's All About You 8/3/09If you're lucky enough to be my Facebook friend, then you can plainly see that there are almost no pictures of me on my profile. The truth is that I want to maintain the illusion of mystery.

Also, I don't need you to see what I look like while I'm doing shots off of someone's ass or while I'm doing some other mundane task. People that I like know what I look like and that's good enough.



Judge Parker 8/3/09
If you haven't been following Judge Parker for the last while then you've missed out on all the talk about bestiality. They're not even trying to hide it in this one. Yeah, I'm sure she wouldn't mind sleeping with the horse, and the horse probably wouldn't mind either.

News And A Comic

Hello faithful readers. I come bearing news for you. Due to the recent loss of writers at the DCR, I will be shutting down The Blog of comics and other stuff until further notice. Unless of course someone would like to fill in while I fulfill my duties to the DCR. But I know that none of you does. You probably don't have what it takes anyway.



Chuckle Bros. 6/23/09So he/she sewed up the arm and neck holes on a shirt. So the joke is that he/she is really stupid? And why does it matter that the shirt is a turtleneck?

What's all this? A post? No, it can't be!

In fact, it is. As shocking as it is, life has calmed down enough to allow me to get something done on this long neglected blog. With luck I can continue to get some posts in over here. I'm still working on some super secret stuff to replace Marmaduke for the Masses.

Oh, I almost forgot, I'm still doing some posting over at the DCR, so look for those too.



Todd the Dinosaur 6/15/09This is a joke that doesn't work is written form. It can only truely be expressed in spoken word so that you can hear the evilness of the "those ARE ants!" part.

Also, I doubt that the air marshal would expose his identity for such a lame joke.



Edge City 6/15/09
The joke is? Is it that she has already seen the cats misdeeds? And why is up bolded? Has the cat been flying?

Edge City receives a fail today.



Curtis 6/15/09
I don't read Curtis regularly and am far to lazy to do the research so this comic has no impact on me. Someone tell me, is it important that the author's name is Shirley?



Bizarro 6/15/09
I agree, we need more commercialism in this country. That way we can have another major recession in mere months instead of years.


BONUS: If you want to drive traffic on your site, mention that men are assholes. It was a post title of mine weeks ago and I'm still getting hits for it for some reason.

BOCAOS Faces an Uncertain Future

Hey, guess what. Chicken butt. But on a serious note, I have begun my takeover of the DCR. For now I will be doing Tuesday and Wednesday comic posts, and I will continue with the Thursday news and Saturday week in review.

What this means for the Blog of comics and other stuff is uncertain. I shall try to do at least one post a week, but really only have three out of the normal five days to work with. Monday and Friday posts are the most likely to happen, but a Thursday comic post isn't out of the question.

Until the next time, I bid you adieu.

Day Two of the Comeback

What's all this? Two consecutive days with a post? The world must be ending. Or maybe I'm almost done moving. I sure hope it's the second one.

Enjoy these comics and enjoy my roasting of them even more.


Mallard Fillmore 5/27/09Mallard Fillmore is the most out of touch comic currently being printed.



Todd the Dinosaur 5/27/09First things first: you cannot fry jell-o. It just can't be done. Second things second: jell-o is good as long as it's not yellow. Fourth things third: just because something's on a stick does not mean it will taste good.

Also, she should just be glad that the big F-ing dinosaur isn't eating people on a stick.



The Amazing Spider-Man 5/27/09
I don't have a particular problem with this particular strip, other than its complete lack of story or action, but I do have to mention how retarded it is that they have gone back to Peter and MJ being married. It makes the last storyline, which may have lasted an eon or two, a dream and nothing in it actually happened. That pisses me off because the greatest character ever, in any form of media, appeared in the last storyline: Ultra-Pigeon. We can only hope that a new random animal makes an appearance.



Boomerangs 5/27/09As a former Target employee, I can verify that wearing red and khaki is a bad idea if you don't work at Target. Shopping after your shift is also very annoying because you can't just say that you don't work there because you do. It leads to a lot of extra work pointing shoppers to on-duty employees, which is probably exactly what Target wants.