Why is nobody ever happy where they are? It's too cold in Philadelphia, there's too much traffic in L.A. Maybe if everyone would stop thinking the grass is greener on the other side we could all get along and stop killing each other.
Arlo & Janis 3/6/09
How is seeing a cat like glimpsing a meteor? A cat is an animal that lives in your house, the only reason you wouldn't see it would be because you were blind.
Herb & Jamaal 3/6/09
Incidentally, would anyone like to hire a hard-working, loyal person with no experience?
No? Damn, I guess I need experience to get the experience I need.
Do you see how lame that joke is? And that was printed all around the country.