I Am Not A Douchebag

Jump Start 3/6/09
Why is nobody ever happy where they are? It's too cold in Philadelphia, there's too much traffic in L.A. Maybe if everyone would stop thinking the grass is greener on the other side we could all get along and stop killing each other.



Arlo & Janis 3/6/09

?

How is seeing a cat like glimpsing a meteor? A cat is an animal that lives in your house, the only reason you wouldn't see it would be because you were blind.

Herb & Jamaal 3/6/09

How is this worth a full strip? This is one of the oldest observations in the world.

Incidentally, would anyone like to hire a hard-working, loyal person with no experience?

No? Damn, I guess I need experience to get the experience I need.

Do you see how lame that joke is? And that was printed all around the country.

Graffiti 3/6/09

And thinking that you're clever by taking a common phrase and making it sound even more stupid can make you look like a douchebag.

And just so you know, I realize that I am not clever. I am not, however, a douchebag.

Mostly I'm just an asshole.